Thursday, April 23, 2009

So, are you married?

That I get asked that question indicates that I'm of an age (or at least the appearance of that age), where I should be married. I am not...yet. Things are going well with DAPGF, and we have talked of moving in that direction. We both agree that we need to stablize careers and pay down some debt, but all talk seems to point in that direction.

Anyway, I mention this because of something that happened in the sauna room at the gym yesterday. I'm sitting in the 180 degree air, broiling myself with 3 other random people, when a rather attractive single mother (dare I say, MILF?) enters and sits down next to me. We start talking and it turns out that she has a 14 year old daughter. I never did get her age, but if she had a 14 year old daughter, my guess is that she had the baby when she was 15 or so. She looked that good. Realistically, she was probably 33 to 36, but she looked in her late 20s, and I told her so. Well of course that earned me brownie flirting points, and she kept chatting. Eventually the question came up of whether I had kids (only if you count my 85 pound Doberman) and whether I was married. She seemed disappointed when I told her I was living in sin with DAPGF. Shortly thereafter, I left the sauna. Not because I felt uncomfortable, but because I was starting to feel cooked.

While driving home from the gym, I was listening to Blue Collar Comedy on Sirius, when a clip from (I believe) John Heffron came on. In it he bemoaned the fact that it's only when he's in a relationship that the women really seem to flock to him. That women seem to be able to smell a relationship on a guy, and it seems to be an aphrodisiac. And he wants to start a company that sells a cologne for men called "Taken" that smells like you've spooned someone in the last 24 hours. Funny, definitely, but it got me thinking. I like to flirt, but I never go beyond just the flirting. Sometimes it's tempting, but I've never done that. I've had the most "interest" whenever I've been in a relationship, and I think I know why. Confidence. When you're single, you're flirting because you are trying to potentially get somewhere with this person (not necessarily in their pants, but more often than not...). When you're in a relationship, you can flirt without worrying about the outcome because you know you've got someone to go home to. Maybe women can smell "relationship" (or spooning) on a man, but I think the confidence factor gives off the vibe that seems to work. If you're really good, you can pull off that vibe even if you're not in a relationship. One of my best friends married a girl he met in college, right after he graduated. It wasn't a good marriage, and they divorced after 2 years. He moved to Huntington Beach and got a bachelor pad close to the beach. Women flocked to him, including an ex-porn star (I met her, thought I recognized her, but never did get her screen name. It was 12 or 13 years ago, tho), and he had all the action he could handle. He rarely got into relationships that lasted more than a couple of months, and often was seeing 2 or 3 at a time. And I believe it was the air of confidence that he gave off. He was in good shape, reasonably good looking, great job, good money, nice car, and he would get right in girls' faces and tell them that they should not date him, because he was an asshole. His words. I think the combination of his confidence, the challenge, and the weird need for women to try and change their men into what they want them to be just worked and sent a massive stream of hotties to his door. And the trend continued when he moved to Minneapolis, then back to San Diego, and finally to Providence, RI, where he ultimately met his wonderful wife. He's been married now for 6 years, has 1 kid with another on the way, and has settled down to a nice family life. But he even told his wife that she shouldn't date him, because he was still an asshole.

So there's my thought for the week. I'm hoping to get back on the felt in the next week or so, so that I can continue to give you a play by play of the bad beats and lemurs that inhabit my world. See ya out there!

1 comment:

River Driver said...

You always told me that all your roommates were assholes and there would be no dating. Didn't you almost kill Steve at one point?

So, when are you getting married? Hey, if I still have to get the baby question, I will still throw the marriage question at ya.