Sunday, February 22, 2009

Creepiest. Thing. Evar. (Non-poker content, slightly NSFW)

Ok. I'm extremely straight, and secure in my masculinity. Still, sometimes you come across something you really didn't wish that you'd seen. The problem with working out at a gym is that inevitably you'll come across the ever-present "naked dude." If you're going to change out of your sweaty workout clothes, shower, and get into clean street clothes, you'll have to be nekkid at some point. Generally, it's not a major issue. Guys all know this...keep your eyes pointed straight ahead and odds are you'll never see more than some guy's pecs or moobs, which you'll see at the beach anyway. Not a big deal. Sunday morning, though, I was needing to pour bleach into my eyes to try and erase what I saw. I'd finished my workout (last five songs - Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding, Megadeth - Holy Wars, Atreyu - Becoming the Bull, Pantera - Fucking Hostile, Suicidal Tendencies - You Can't Bring Me Down) and had just finished changing out of my workout clothes so that I could go home. I walked around the corner of the lockers, and standing there with his back to me was Naked Guy. Oh, but this wasn't any old Naked Guy. Nope. This one was special, and with the acknowledgement that my eyes never got below waist level, that should definitely say something. This guy had seemingly manscaped all the hair off of his back, except for one bit. You know the hot girls that you find on the porno websites, with the little wedge pie or landing strip pubes? This guy left a little triangle patch of back hair just above and pointing to his ass crack! First of all, who would think of this? Second, who was the brave soul who was drafted to perform said manscaping? A fucking little landing strip pointing at his asscrack!?!? Definitely not the way I really needed to start the day.

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