Monday, September 24, 2007

Public Service Announcement

***Warning, disturbing non-poker content ahead. SFW, but disturbing***

So I ended my weekend on a really rough note. I went to take the dog for a walk at 5, before DAPGF and I went to get dinner. As I was walking past our condo's pool, I glanced in and saw what appeared to be a person floating face down in the water, and nobody else around. I got out my keys and got into the pool area, clipped the dog leash to the fence, and whipped out the cell phone to call 911. While it's ringing, I take off my shoes, keys, wallet, etc., and jump into the shallow end where the guy is floating. 911 answers and PUTS ME ON HOLD!!! I close the phone and chuck it up on the pool deck, scream for somebody to call 911 (several times), and grab this guy who is about 6 feet tall and probably weighs 200 pounds and hurl him up onto the pool deck. Boy Scouts 20 years ago comes rushing back and I get him on his side to try and clear his airway. Beer starts coming out his nose and mouth. While I'm checking for a pulse, my cell phone starts ringing. I don't know why, but I knew it was 911 calling me back (since I hung up on them) and I answered it. The 911 operator tells me that paramedics are on the way, and starts talking me through mouth to mouth and CPR. Side note, compression/breathing patterns have changed since I was last certified in the 1980s. People start to gather around the pool deck, but only one dude is helping me out at this point, mainly wiping the beer, water, and whatever off of this guy's face while I'm doing chest compressions. After about 10 minutes of that, I realized that the other dude had left. No idea why, no idea where he went. A few minutes after that, the San Diego Fire paramedics showed up and took over. I called DAPGF to come down and get the dog, to finish her walk. A San Diego Police officer took my statement (what happened, when did I find the guy, yadda yadda yadda). After about another 20 minutes of working on the guy, the paramedics stopped, saying that he was gone. After talking with a bunch of my neighbors who were hanging around with DAPGF, I went home and showered. We decided to go get something to eat, not that I had much of an appetite at that point. We decided to walk by the pool one last time, to see if the coroner had shown up so I could give her my statement and not have to have her call me during dinner or something. Fortunately she was there and that business was taken care of. I still feel queasy.

Things learned from this whole experience. You shouldn't swim alone, and you really shouldn't swim when you've been drinking. I only saw one can of beer on a table by the chaise lounge where the guy's wallet, flip flops, etc. were, but I bet he spent the day drinking while watching football. You should also carry your keys (all of them, storage rooms, pool areas, club houses) with you at all times. Damn near all of my neighbors said that they were amazed that I had my pool key on my key ring. Apparently they all keep theirs on separate rings. That, and keep a cell phone with you at all times. I walk the dog early in the morning and late at night. I am 6'3" and weigh in the range of 277-280, and I'm walking a Doberman Pinscher. It's not that likely that anybody is really going to hassle me while I'm walking, but why take the chance. So take these experiences and use them to better protect yourselves. I'm also going to find a CPR course and get re-certified, and I suggest that you all do it, too. Again, better to be prepared than find yourself in a bad situation and not know what to do. I feel bad that I wasn't able to get the guy revived, but I know I did everything that I could, and I did it as right as possible. I hope you never find yourself in such a position, but if you do, I hope you have read this post and are better prepared for it.

***Cross-posted at What Happened***

Friday, September 21, 2007

Idiots (non poker content ahead)

And for the stupid is as stupid does award…

We bring you the story of MIT student, Star Simpson.  She's attending MIT, so she's brainy and likely somewhat techy and geeky (not that there's anything wrong with that).  She has to go to Logan International Airport in Boston to meet her boyfriend.  She decides to wear a sweatshirt upon which she's attached a lighted computer circuit board with visible wiring, and she's holding a wad of play doh in her hand.  After having the authorities level machine guns at her and arrest her, she's actually protesting what happened, and pleading "not guilty" to a charge of disturbing the peace and possessing a hoax device.

OK.  Was what she did a harmless statement (as she said)?  Technically, yes.  She was not wearing a bomb.  Did she exercise judgment that goes beyond stupid?  Hell yes.  Let's examine this.  Post 9/11 USA.  "Let me dress like a suicide bomber, but it will just be a joke.  Nobody should misunderstand what I'm doing.  And to add to the excitement, maybe I'll do it at the airport where two of the four highjacked 9/11 planes took off from.  And just to extract maximum irony, I'll do it in the city that went apeshit over the Aqua Teen Hunger Force goofy fake bomb thing.  I should really be able to make a statement that way."  And you wonder why the men with the big guns told you to get face down on the pavement.  And you wonder why you were placed under arrest.  Did the authorities overreact?  To the ATHF thing, probably.  To her, nope.  I'd say they did their jobs correctly, and I'm glad for it.  Besides, every single airport I've ever been in has always had a sign (several, actually) that had words to the effect of, "We take all comments regarding bombs and guns seriously."  Meaning even if you're joking, we're going to react as though your comment was meant seriously.  So if you go to an airport, any airport much less the one which was pretty much the epicenter of the 9/11 tragedy, and basically say that you've got a bomb strapped to your body, you should expect to be treated as a terrorist threat.  The moron is lucky to still be alive.  Major Scott Pare of the Mass. State Police was quoted as saying, "She was immediately told to stop, to raise her hands and not to make any movement, so we could observe all her movements to see if she was trying to trip any type of device.  Had she not followed the protocol, we might have used deadly force." 

I understand the idea of making a statement, really I do.  Unfortunately the statement that came across was, "I'm a f**king moron.  Shoot me."  Mr. Darwin, we likely have a future candidate for your award.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

For Daddy, Al, Pauly, and select others

I've not been to this place, so I cannot speak for the quality. Reading the review, though, I was drawn to one item in particular. Click the pic to embiggen, and look at the description on the right.

That's right. Bacon. As a complimentary bar snack. Get there before these nut cases do, otherwise you may find yourself sans bacon. For more bacon-y goodness, feel free to check out Pauly's new blog (where in the hell does he find the time to start up ANOTHER blog?!?), the Tao of Bacon. To read more of the reviews in the pic, click here.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


Labor Day, just south of Del Mar, looking south towards Black's Beach. Water temp was around 72 degrees, waves were poor form but running 2-4 feet with occasional sets up to 5 feet, and the air temp at the coast was in the upper 80s. DAPGF and I are on our way home from lunch, and we happen upon this:

I apologize for the crappy cell phone pic, but the light changed and I was in a hurry to get the shot. Still, old meets new and either way, There Is No Substitute.

Carmen's meme will be coming shortly.