What the fuck is a frush?
I’m dealt AKd on the button. EP pops a 4x raise preflop, it folds around to me and I smooth call, and the SB calls as well. Flop comes down 7d Jc 9d. Kewl. Nut flush draw. EP bets half the pot and I call, along with SB. Turn brings the 6d. EP checks, I bet out half the pot, being worried about someone hitting a str8 flush on the river, and SB calls. River is the Kh. I bet out, SB raises to put me all in, and I call. He flips over QTo for a rivered straight, and I laugh as my nut flush takes the stack Even from the SB, I can’t see calling that kind of preflop action with QTo, and to be hanging around after the turn when there’s a flush on the board that he has no part of…ship it bitch!
Hoy’s favorite Fonkey hand #1
We all know that Hoy loves himself (not) AJ. It is without a doubt one of his favorite hands to berate people about. I get dealt Hiltons in the BB. There are 3 limpers and I raised up to make it $2.50 to go (.25/.50), and I get 1 caller. Flop comes down J-high rainbow rags. I bet the pot, trying to weed anybody out playing Ax. I get called. Turn is a brick, so I bet the pot again and get called again. The river brings a fucking ace and I just start pounding my head on the desk. I figure that I’ve led the whole hand, may as well try to represent and hope that he’s been hanging out with something other than an ace. So I make a C-bet of about a third of the pot. He calls and flips over AJ, devastating my stack. Nothing I could’ve done would’ve gotten rid of him, once he had his TPTK. Hell, he probably would’ve called an all in preflop shove, because that’s what Fonkeys do.
One of my few suckouts, and it couldn’t have come at a better time, given the previous hand
I get dealt AQs UTG. I was on life support after the Fonkey Hand #1, with my once mighty stack down to a pathetic $6. So UTG I fire out a bet of $2.50, and get reraised all in by the guy to my left. To my amazement the SB calls as well. Everyone else at the table was sitting on a stack of at least $20, and with only 7 BB remaining I felt I had no choice but to shove and hope that I could find some magic. I flopped a Q with 1 club and 2 diamonds, which had me worried. SB bet out, Villain called and the cards were flipped. Villain shows AKo, and SB shows KQh. So far so good, but Villain’s K is a diamond. The turn is the 5d, and now I’m sweating a diamond flush. Fortunately the river is a brick and I tripled up to get back into the game.
What else can I say about this? I was going to fold this hand, but the 5 limpers in front of me convinced me that the pot odds favored my J9h. So I joined the lemurs and limped. The flop comes down 3 Jacks. Well holy fucking shit, batman! It checked around on the flop. The turn was an 8, and the BB fired off a pot bet. Hmmm. I wonder what he's got. Oh what the hell, I'll call. The river is a Q, he checks, I bet, he folds. Who doesn't love flopping the absolute nuts?
Hoy’s favorite Fonkey hand #2
3 hands after my miracle suckout, I get dealt KK on the button. 2 limpers ahead of me, I bump it to $2.50 to go (6x). I get one caller. Flop is rainbow rags. Villain leads out with a pot bet. I shove and he calls. I show my KK, and he shows the Fonkey hand of AJo. Turn is a brick, but the river once again brings the ace, felting me. Ah the river button. Have I told you lately that online poker is rigged?