Friday, May 26, 2006

Bloggers and Poker

Couple of housekeeping things. The blogroll continues to grow. Three new ones added today are Fish Soup (Sox Lover), The Flight of Iakaris (a stellar Iron Maiden tune, btw), and Little Acorn Man. I’d come across Sox several times during recent blogger tournaments (WWdN, Mookie, DADI), seen many comments he’s left on other blogs, and started tracking him down to read. Sox is very much a student of the game, and is very thorough in analyzing hands, pot odds, implied odds, and the occasional fold that makes you go, huh? So he gets a link. I’ve also seen Acorn’s comments to other bloggers. I searched him out only to find out that he already added me to his sidebar. At least I finally caught up to ya. Acorn’s a Scottish blogger who plays a mix of tourneys and ring play, with the stats to indicate that he’s a pretty solid player. He also mixes in some humorous non-poker content from time to time, just to keep things fresh. He’s also going to get to hang with Joe Speaker on his upcoming European Freedom Tour. I sense an odd mix of impending doom and frivolity. Finally we come to Iakaris. I noticed his comments on blogs a little over a month ago, and sure as hell his first ever post was just over a month ago. It seems that reading Trip and Hoyazo finally helped push him over the edge into poker-blogging. In fact, he has become probably the most fervent disciple of deadly poker move known as The Hoy, that anyone has ever come across. If he goes all-in minus 1, be ready for some fireworks. But beyond his insight and enjoyment of all things poker, the dude is a riot! Most of us have read Trip’s recent meme, and many of us commented. Iak’s responses actually caused Trip to devote a post to them. Go read the whole list, just be sure to wear your Depends for when you pee your pants laughing. The roll is actually becoming quite large and unwieldy, much like my junk, so I may try to actually organize it this weekend (the blogroll, not my junk).

Actually played some pokah last night. One of the schools that dear and patient GF teaches at is currently in session, so Thursdays are poker night for Hoff. After walking and feeding the doggie, I fired up Stars. My MTT results have been extremely bloody lately, so I’ve been playing more ring, usually .05/.10 - .10/.25 NLHE or PLO, and I’ve actually been +EV at it. But I loves me some MTT/SNG action, so I signed up for a $4.40 180 on Stars. While that was spinning up, I jumped into a .10/.25 NLHE table and pwned it. Because I was just dinking around, I only bought in for the minimum ($10). I’d doubled up shortly after the 180 started, and was close to tripling up not long after that. The 180 started off very well, also, running me up into the top ten in not much time at all. In fact, it was the same hand, at the same time in both that popped me up early. I got dealt 55 in both. In the 180 my set stacked someone with KJd who was on a nut flush draw that didn’t happen. In the cash game it was pretty similar. Somebody got all in on a wheel draw that didn’t complete. Shortly after that, the girlie chat thingy beeped and Drewspop was asking if I was playing in the WWdN: Not. I thought I’d missed it, but he said that I had 6 minutes to sign up. So having done my damage in the cash game, I jumped out of it and signed up for Darval’s Not tournament (I’ll add the link to the roll this weekend). A small and intimate gathering of some of the poker blogging community’s finest characters, including Drews, Hoyazo, Sowbug (or Foldbug or Bubblebug, depending on where the game is), Waffles, JJ, Smokee and others (too many links, I’ll deal with them later). So I’m running pretty well in both…I’m hovering around the top 20 in the 180 with around 100 remaining, and I’m running 2nd or 3rd most of the way thru the dub dub dee ehn. My demise in the 180 was one of those horrible moments…aces get cracked. Villain (who was an above-average stack and in MP) pops it up to 300 with the blinds 50/100, so I’m thinking he’s got a decent hand, probably AK. I’m the CO and I think about it and call (my first mistake). Flop is K high with 2 hearts, including the K. One of my aces is the heart, so I’m not too worried about a flush. Villain bets out 500, making me think that he is on the AK and now has the lovely TPTK. I call. Turn is a blank. Another 500 and another call. River is a heart and he shoves. I should’ve folded, but I was pretty well committed at that point, and he flips over Q3h! Huh? Ok. I can see the action post flop, trying to scare off anybody else, but the preflop bet is what screwed me. Hindsight and all, I should’ve reraised, but I was greedy and figured I could bleed him dry with my rockets. Meh. Back to the bloggers. We’re at the final table, and somehow I knew it wouldn’t last. My first problem was Hoyazo. I get dealt the Tourist (A7) and UTG did a min-raise, just to see where I was. I was getting “decent” respect, and I figured only real hands would call or reraise. As the short stack, Hoy comes back with a reraise of The Hoyazo™. Having him covered almost 3 to 1, I just called. The flop was junk, so I min-bet him all in and he flips over AJ. In the end, the board paired tens, and I was outkicked. Two hands later would be my demise. I get dealt KQh in MP. It folds to me, and I pop it up to 300 to go. My boy Chris reraises me to 1000. Now Chris is the big stack and I know he likes to bluff-raise preflop, so I figured he was just playing big-stack bully. I called. Flop comes down A3K, no hearts. Chris bets 500 and I call. A Q falls on the turn, giving me two pair. Chris shoves me all in and flips over…wait for it…Aces!! Yes, he made the table image work for him. If I had to lose, it may as well be to him. I busted out in 7th. JJOK made it to 5th, and the short stack at that point, Sowbug, turned into Foldbug hoping to avoid the bubble. Unfortunately it didn’t work and he busted in 4th. Chris hung in there for a while, but ultimately busted in 3rd, leaving Smokee heads up with The Hammer Player. I missed the battle due to dear and patient GF arriving home from teaching, but ultimately Hoyazo took it down. Well played, everyone.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

I came across some pictures related to the recent alligator attacks that have been happening. It seems some street justice has been administered.

Related to that, there's a new municipal ordinance regarding dogs and their owners.

I was wondering what else I could do to usher in the weekend, but nothing my demented little mind could conjure up could measure up to MiamiDon's recent post. Click here to see if you can recognize some of your favorite bloggers.

Have a great weekend and everybody be safe in their new cars. I want to see you all at the tables and in Vegas this summer!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Save the Internet

Yes, this story has been bouncing around the internet and blogosphere for a while, but when I finally read the main article and realized that everyone from MoveOn.Org to the Christian Coalition to the Gun Owners of America to Craigslist has come together to oppose the end of Net Neutrality, I figured I'd go ahead and do my part. Click the link and check it out.

Save the Internet: Click here

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Stuff To Pimp

Credit to Iggy for this drawing, which I shamelessly stole. And with that, welcome to the weekly installment of "Stuff to Pimp!!" We'll start off with this:

And another one has been sucked into the blogosphere. Poor RoccoBoxer. He was no longer satisfied with just being the resident luckbox at the Mookie tournaments. He had to start a blog. Go give him a read. Obviously there's not a lot of material posted yet, but there will be. In the meanwhile, just so any new readers can really understand what Rocco is about, look at his first and only post (so far). HE FLOPS QUAD ROCKETS!!! WTF? Anyway, Rocco is a great player and will never suffer for lack of great hands to post. He's also hella cool in the girlie chat thing. Just don't wind up at the same table as him in a tournament. Remember, he flopped quad aces. You have been warned.

Next is the Wil Wheaton Tournament on Pokerstars. The info is as follows:
What: WWdN: godard Invitational
Where: Pokerstars
When: Tuesday, May 23rd, 7:30PM CT
Which: Tournament: 24872335
Cost: $10+1 NLHE
Password: monkey

After that is my favorite online tournament, the Mookie!

Wednesday, 7 pm west and some other such time in other parts of the world. You figure it out...I don't wanna.

After that we have the WWdN: not, hosted by Darval. The specifics are:
What: WWdN: Not The
Where: Pokerstars
When: Thursday, May 25th, 9:30PM CT
Which: Tournament: 25198207
Cost: $10+1 NLHE
Password: monkey

And finally, I've pimped this one before, but it is so worth it to pimp it again.

The Donkeys Always Draw Invitational! A tournament geared to my particular style of playing. May 29, 7 pm West, whatever in other areas of the world. 10+1 Pot Limit Hold 'Em.

Next, PokerStars has a new promo going for bloggers exclusively.

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

Finally, are you tired of the bad beats? Are your employers breathing down your neck for having a blog? Is the significant other getting on you for playing too much poker? Is your hair getting too long because you haven't booked a win in a while? Then do I have the miracle cure for you!

Monday, May 22, 2006


Don't you hate it when you have a monster hand and can't get anybody to play along? I flopped trips and checked it. 5 other people checked all the way around. I turned quads (dems quad bitches, bitches!) and checked. Again, it checked all the way around. A king fell on the river. Surely someone must have a king or two and want to bet it up (They didn't have a king, and don't call me Shirley - happy 25th and a half anniversary to one of the greatest movies of all times, AIRPLANE!). As it checked around to me, I threw out a min bet of .10 and it folded around. Sigh.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Good Hands and Bad Hands

**Now, the rule is that you supposedly owe a dollar for every bad beat story. I think that the good hands I describe herein more than compensate for the bad beats. So there.

So I jumped into an 11+1 45 player on Stars. The first orbit was a pile of blanks. Until I woke up in the SB with ATh. With 3 callers ahead of me, I just completed the blind and the BB checked. Flop came down 7 Q A, all spades. I decided to check, to see where I was. The BB bet out for about half the pot. When it folded to me, I called. Kd hit on the turn, so I bet it up, for about half the current pot and was called. Amazingly, the river brought a non-spade J, giving me broadway. I did another ½ pot bet, hoping that BB hit something like two pair and reraise. He just called and I scooped a pot of around 1000.

About one orbit later, I found AQo, and on a Q high board hit another healthy pot. The very next hand was a particularly enjoyable one:

The flop paired Shmaines’ J, but did nothing else and I almost doubled up.

Several orbits later, I found A9o UTG. I decided after skipping 12 or so hands, I would play this one and at 50/100 min-raised it. The short stack shoved his last 500 in and I decided to call. He flipped over TT, and was probably feeling pretty good until the flop. I didn’t need the river, but the river was kind enough to drop this on me:

Dems quads, beeches!

After about 20 hands of bupkis, I found the informal Big Slick (not in a s00t). One guy ahead of me (who played pretty tight) popped a 3x raise (100/200), so I smooth-called. The flop came down 6 8 4 rainbow, and villain shoved for 3400. I’ve had a problem in the past, overplaying Big Slick. As such I folded, figuring that he probably had an overpair (TT-QQ), and wanted me out. If he’d hit a set, he probably would’ve slow played to bleed off more of my chips.

After that I scooped a pot of around 2000 with A9h when the flop came down ace-high and I bet the pot.

Another one was when my ATh cracked another AKo when I paired my 10 on the turn to give me aces and 10s to his aces and 4s. That one bumped more than doubled me up, putting me near the top in chip counts.

The first of two bad beats that busted me out was when I called the blinds UTG with QJo. Villain in the BB checked, and the flop came down J 4 6 rainbow. I bet out the pot and was called. Turn brought a 2. Pot bet and call. River brought an 8. Pot bet and call. He flips over 64. That left me the short stack.

Exactly one orbit later I found AJo UTG and shoved. It folded around to the same Villain in the BB, who only had to call for another 1500. He flips over 97o. For some reason I have this sinking feeling that I’m in trouble, and it is confirmed when the flop comes down 9 8 7 rainbow. I get no help and IGH in 7th. At least I made the money.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Trax of a Snail Will Set You Free

I found this from Joe Speaker. I knew of the site, but there's been some recent updating. Answers can be found here.

Da Mook and Random Thoughts for a Thursday

So. Three early morning accidents absolutely butt-surfed my commute this morning. The first one was a jackknifed gravel hauler on my northbound I-5. Not only did it tangle with two or three other cars, it busted thru the k-rail (Jersey wall?) center divider to take out the fast lane of the southbound side in addition to 3 of four northbound lanes. It also spilled gravel everywhere and spilled diesel fuel, which is a haz-mat scenario to Caltrans and the CHP, requiring that be dealt with before anything else that wasn’t medical. There were a couple of accidents in the backup, just to make things worse. One of them, though, was a total Karma situation. Some pinhead in a Ford Focus was trying to beat the system and run past everybody on the shoulder. In some areas this is legal (I know there’s a couple of freeway stretches in LA where you can drive on the shoulder during rush hour), but not here. So pinhead is flying past everybody when he spots a CHP motorcycle officer on the shoulder. He decides to jump back into the traffic lanes (which are moving at maybe 5-10 MPH) in front of another semi truck. Unfortunately they don’t stop quickly and it is hard to see a little econo-box right in front of you when you’re up tall in a big rig, and the truck crunched right into the driver’s side of the Focus! Because of the slow speeds it didn’t look as though pinhead was hurt, but the CHP officer heard the impact and calmly walked over to the Focus to laugh at the guy. Sometimes there IS a cop around when you want one! End result, it took me over 2 hours to go 26 miles. After leaving casa de Hoff around 7:20 or so, it was after 9:30 when I finally got to work. Just another shitty day in paradise.

After a several week hiatus, I got to play in the Mookie last night. I loves me some brogger tournaments. The Mookie is like a big home game, except there’s nobody blowing ass at the table (Troll…). I actually started off at a table with the Hippie Chia Pet in Training and Mrs. Mookie. After a few hands, though, I got moved. Of course I find myself at a table between Jordan from High on Poker and Good Sir Waffle Man, with Carmen and Hoyazo the Hammer Player there to add to the fun. I decided to try something new this time. I’ve played like a rock, and I’ve played like a loose aggressive donk, so why not mix it all up! This here space in the interwebby thing is “The Randomness of Hoff”, so why not be random? I’d limp with AQ s00ted, and I’d raise with pocket ducks. I played 3 or 4 hammers, and won with all but one. The one that I didn’t win with, I limped instead of raising. That must be the activation key for the power of the hammer, a nice 2 or 3x raise. There’s your lesson for the day. The first real indication that I was going to have a decent game came when I survived a suckout be resucking out. Jordan was crippled when his AJ ran into AQ, so when he found 55 in MP he shoved. Unfortunately, I had KK and called. The flop brought him another 5, to the cheering delight of Waffles (what did I ever do to you, SirF? Oh yeah, that!). So I channeled every luckbox vibe I could think of and called for my K. It hit! I didn’t even have to wait for the river! And Jordan was gone, but not forgotten. Sorry buddy, but das poker. It’s about time I came out on the winning end of something like that. The best (or worst depending on your perspective) hammer came a few hands later when I rivered a boat to suck out Waffle’s 2 pair ace kicker.

Fear the hammer! SirF had not had much luck gaining any traction against me, and this one pretty much crippled him. I get screwed enough by the river, it’s kind of weird to have the river work for me. I also managed to play a Mookie, and flopped a straight.

I wanted Carmen to have something and be willing to bet, but the Mookie draw scared her. I did win a little off of her, but not as much as I’d hoped. Love ya C. After the break, though, I went card dead. I was back to my usual state of 94o and 26o. When I would get playable cards such as AQh, the flop would come down all low and all black. Eventually I wound up with ATo in the BB. Darval had raised up UTG, so I reraised and shoved. He flipped over Hiltons and I went home in 10th, on the final table bubble. The final table was truly a scary bunch. Gilain, Drewspop, MiamiDon, Hoyazo, The Hippie Chia Pet in Training, Mrs. Chia Pet, Darval, and Kipper. Drewspop was the monster chip leader for a while, but big congrats to Gilain who (with the help of many of my chips, sorry Chris) was able to prevail. Good times.

Sorry I didn't get any of the links up, but there's too many and I'm just trying to get this post knocked out before my boss craps giant octogonal bricks. It was a blast playing with everybody. With the GF’s teaching schedule in limbo, I’ve missed the past few weeks, and I’m sure I’ll miss a few more. Still, it was great seeing everybody. 41 of the greatest, goofiest, most demented souls out there in the blogosphere. Don’t worry, though. I may not make the Mookie, but I will be floating around out there. I’ll be looking for ya, adult beverage on the desk and the hammer in the pocket.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I'm Back!!!

It's that time again!!!! Mookie mookie mookie mookie!!!! It's a special time tonight. Not only is Mr. Surflexus attempting to be the first ever three-peat Champion of Da Mook, but after a several week hiatus brought on by the GF's messed up teaching schedule, I'M BACK!!! Yes, dear broggers, it's Mookie time! It's the usual crowd at the usual place with the usual password (vegas1) at the usual time (7 pm Pacific, different hours in different places). Be sure to show up and play like a champion. Lol.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Random Thoughts

Take a look at this table. Look at the players. Remember their names. This was the softest table I've ever played at.

This was a 6-max $2000 WSOP 24+2 MTT. 272 players. I went out earlier than I wanted to (isn't that always the case?), but generally I was pleased with my play. There was a series of hands that I won. The pots were all small, and the boards were either all power cards like the pic, or they were all junk. The first hand was 85o in the BB. At a 6 max table, there were 4 people who called, and I checked. There was a bunch of paint on the flop, so I clicked the check/fold button. It checked around. The turn brought a 5. It checked around again. The river brought one more rag. It checked around again, and I won. Very next hand, 24d in the SB. The entire table called, I completed and BB checked. Flop was all junk, but paired my 2. A round of checking. Turn was a J. Another round of checking, and the river is a blank. It checks again and yes, my ducks win. Very next hand was 83o on the button. Everybody called again, so I figured I'd limp in also. The flop is Axx rainbow. Check. Turn is a T. Check. River is a 3. One more time, it checks around. My 3s took it down. It was truly bizarre. Unfortunately my luck didn't hold. After I got moved, I wound up with a major push-tard to my right. I watched him steal a couple of blinds from the button and SB, and I watched him lead off post flop with a C-bet of just under pot, only to have somebody raise and he folds. That happened a few times, so I correctly tagged him as an aggressive bluff-meister. At this point I've got a slightly better than average stack, and we're probably around Level 5 or so (I think the blinds were 100/200). I find Big Slick UTG, so I pop it up to 1000. Everybody folds except for push-tard in the BB, who shoves. Figuring him for his usual steal, I call. Of course he flips over aces, and I'm crippled. I hung around for a few hands, until I found ATo. I shove and get called by JJ. I pair my ten, but I don't get any more help. IGH in 143 out of 272.

After that, I decided to do some more work on clearing my bonus at Party, so I opened up 2 tables and got down to it. Next thing I know, the girly chat thing jingled (?). It was Drewspop. He was just jumping into some LHE on Stars. I was working on my bonus and there wasn't an open seat at the table, so I just opened it up to rail. Here's what my screen looked like set to max resolution.

Even though I've only had my 19 inch LCD monitor since Christmas, I've determined that I need a new one. Maybe a nice 24 inch widescreen. Sweeeeet. Just have to hit big in a 180 or something, and Hoff is stylin.

Finally, I added a few newer (at least to me) bloggers to the blogroll. Welcome Fluxer, Carmen, Amy, Jules, and Miami Don. Give them a read...they've all got their own unique perspectives on both poker and living life around poker.

It's late. It's 1:10 a.m. despite what the time stamp will say. Need sleep.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Taking My Own Advice

So, after the recent bloodbath I experienced on PokerStars, I took my own advice and changed things up. As I've noted previously, I'm working on clearing a bonus at Party, so I opened up a LHE .10/.20 table and pwned the thing! Any time you can double your buy in on .10/.20 LHE within 15 minutes, you're having a good time.

While that was good, I enjoy MTT's and SNGs, so I opened up Tilt, and jumped into a 6 max NLHE. I was tearing it up, and eventually I wound up HU. We went back and forth, and we were within a few hundred chips of each other, depending on who got the blinds. And then I found Ah Qh UTG. Blinds were 120/240, so I popped it to 480, just to see what Bigdog would do. He shoved, and I called to go all in. He flips over 88. I get no help and he wins. Still, I finished ITM in 2nd place, so any cash was a better result than Saturday on Stars.

Not being done (GF gave me the afternoon off when she took a nap after the monster brunch buffet we attended for Mother's Day), I jumped into my very first 18 player SNG for a $26 token. Again, I was en fuego. The hand history didn't download properly, but I had several good hands. One of my favorites was this one:

Any time you can flop the nut flush, with a royal flush draw, it's all good. Long story short, once we hit the point where all four of us would receive a token, we all started shoving to finish the game. I had to walk the dog, so I was ready to be done. End result, I went out in 3rd, winning my $26 token. Now I have to figure out what I can use it on, never having had a FT token before. Hopefully, the good juju will still be flowing when I figure out what I'm playing.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

What an ugly morning

Yeah, waaah waaah. I try not to post too many bad beats because A) nobody really likes hearing about them, and B) I get beat often enough by a better hand that why whine about it. Until this morning...

GF is going shopping with some friends. Hoff has time to play pokah!! w00t! Fire 'em up! First out of the blocks is a Stars 180. I'm not getting any real traction. I stole a few blinds, but found myself with 1100 chips at 25/50, with hiltons in MP. A few calls and I pop it up to 200. The button calls and everybody else folds. Flop is Td 7d 4h. Wanting to scare off any flush draws, I push. Villan calls with A9d. I'm barely ahead on the coinflip, 57-43. And the river brings the Kd and IGH in 117th.

OK. The next SNG spinning up was a 11+1 45 player turbo, so I jumped in. I was doing alright in this, until my BB Mookie (T8) ran into the SB T9 on a flop of 897 rainbow. That dropped me down to 500 in chips. I hung around for a bit, and then got busted on another coinflip where I was barely ahead (51-49). I had K5o in the BB, and shoved. I got called by JTh, and busted by another river flush. IGH in 28th.

The bad luck can't continue much more, can it? Let's find out. The next SNG spinning up is a 6+.50 45 player. Maybe the lower limit will help. I was actually playing fairly well in this one, and I'd managed to get up to almost 4000 chips by Level 6 (100/200). Then my AcJh ran into KhJc. The flop paired the J, but brought 2 heart rags. I bet my TPTK fairly hard, but villain stayed in. I didn't want to shove, figuring that if he was staying he probably had a higher pair. Two more heart rags on the turn and river, and I bet my flush hard. He calls and that cost me over half my stack. So I missed a few flops on medium pairs to cut the stack down more. I wind up with KQo, and I decide to make my stand. One caller with KJo. Sweet. Roughly a 73-27 favorite. Unfortunately the flop pairs his J. I get no more help, and IGH in 18th.

Do I continue the carnage, or run away with my tail between my legs? Me likey pain, so me jump into 15+1 18 player turbo. This one started off promising, with me almost doubling up on the 1st hand, with Ad3d in the SB. Call the BB and flop the nut flush. I never did figure out what the other player had, because they mucked. The board had a pair of ducks on it, so I'm assuming a busted set of 2s. Then the ugliness ensued. I get dealt A2o in the BB. It checks around to me, with 1 caller. Flop comes A2J rainbow. I lead out with a pot sized bet of around 100, and villain shoves. I figured if he had AJ, he would have bet harder preflop (he was very aggressive, that's why he was the short stack so early), so I called. It was only another 200 to call, and he flips up KTo. I'm way ahead at this point, 84-16. But wait for it...YES!!! A queen on the river!!! So that cost about a quarter of my stack. 2 hands later, I find hiltons in LP. The shortstack dude is still the shortstack, and he shoves, with A5o. It's 450 to go, so why not. I'm a 70-30 favorite. Flop comes down Ks Th Ad. OK. He paired his ace, but I've got a gutshot to broadway. Instead of the J, or even another Q, another ace falls, sucking up almost half of my remaining stack! So I hang around, losing chips to blinds. I'm down to 1000 in chips at 200/400/25, and getting nervous. I find J3o in the BB. 2 callers let me check. Flop comes down QJ3 rainbow. First to act, I shove. For some reason I have this vision of somebody having QJ. Sure as hell, MP calls, and flips over QJ. IGH in 14th. Starting to feel dizzy.

Maybe the next one will be better. I jump into another 15+1 18 player. I'm hovering around 1500 in chips, when I find AJo in the BB at 50/100. Button raises 200, so I call. Flop is rags, T38o. We both check. Turn is a 9, giving me an OESD. I bet out 300, and he raises to 700. It's only another 400 into a pot of around 1650, so I call. Besides, I have the OESD and donkeys always draw! The river brings a 5, not helping me out at all. When villain shoves in for his last 1000, I fold. Several orbits later, I find myself blinded in with 89o. No help and IGH in 13th. Room is starting to spin, and I'm seeing spots. Maybe one more.

The only thing loading up is another 15+1 18 player, so baby hit me one more time (sorry, I hate Britney, but the lyrics work. Sue me). I think I'd been in 3 hands, when this happened.
*********** # 16 **************
PokerStars Game #4922913326: Tournament #24680977, $15+$1 Hold'em No
Limit - Level IV (50/100) - 2006/05/13 - 16:18:24 (ET)
Table '24680977 1' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: Aint Jomama (1395 in chips)
Seat 2: SimplySau7 (3300 in chips)
Seat 3: bridun (1940 in chips)
Seat 4: homer1971 (635 in chips)
Seat 5: iamhoff (1510 in chips)
Seat 6: F4phantom (3415 in chips)
Seat 9: jman094 (1305 in chips)
Aint Jomama: posts small blind 50
SimplySau7: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [Qd As]
bridun: folds
homer1971: folds
iamhoff: calls 100
F4phantom: folds
jman094: folds
Aint Jomama: folds
SimplySau7: raises 300 to 400
iamhoff: calls 300
*** FLOP *** [4s Qc 8h]
SimplySau7: bets 2900 and is all-in
iamhoff: calls 1110 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [4s Qc 8h] [Tc]
*** RIVER *** [4s Qc 8h Tc] [6d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SimplySau7: shows [Td Th] (three of a kind, Tens)
iamhoff: shows [Qd As] (a pair of Queens)
SimplySau7 collected 3070 from pot

According to Two Dimes, I'm a 90-10 favorite when we shoved all in, so I was feeling pretty good. When that T fell on the turn, I actually let out a wail of despair. OK. I've had enough now. I'm going to curl up in the fetal position and dream of my happy place, a place where my cards hold up. I don't know if it really exists, but I can dream.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Still grinding...

Well, variance finally caught up with me. I've been trying to clear a bonus at Party, so I've been playing a lot more cash LHE than I normally do. I've also been multitabling, but as we all know overlap sucks so I've been limiting myself to only 2 tables. I've been at the .05/.10 thru .25/.50 depending on where there's room. The goal is raked hands, so I'm playing just about any 2 cards in front of me, and more often than not they hold up. Either that, or the Party peeps fold to a guy who bets it up on each street. I must have SOMETHING, otherwise I wouldn't be betting! But it finally caught up with me. I finally dropped below the balance of free money that Party/PSO gave me, after two ugly sessions. There was actually one good player at one of the tables, and he slowplayed his KK beautifully, sucking in my TPTK AJ for a large chunk. I had consecutive flushes cracked by larger flushes, and more than once I had my paired ace run into a set of something. Das pokah. I've got plenty of free money to play with!

So the water heater started leaking last night. Your hero gallantly sacrificed his exciting, fun-filled day in the office to wait at home for the plumber. But wait, you say. Don't you have a computer with internet access and Pokerstars on it at home? Why yes I do! So is Hoff going to work from home, or play pokah? I actually did a little work in between hands, including talking to my boss about a few things, so I feel no guilt. And I got to play a 180. I actually was playing fairly well for a while, hovering around par, and I woke up to pocket cowboys. At 100/200 and UTG, I popped it to 1000. UTG+1 calls and everybody folds. The flop comes down QTK. I lead out with a simple bet of 400. Villain shoves and I call. I must say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Dems quads, beeches! Unfortunately, I seemed to use up all my luck. I didn't go completely card dead preflop, but if I saw a flop, I inevitably missed it entirely. I had an amazing run of 94o, followed up by the ever popular 36o. Then I would get 77. If I was lucky, somebody would push or do a 6x raise before it got to me. Otherwise I would have already gotten my call in only to find a raise. 4 callers, and the flop comes down AKJ. Eventually I found myself in the BB (200/400/25) with K7o. Amazingly, it checked around to me (2 other callers). Flop is 76A. SB leads out with a bet of 800. At this point, I've only got another 500 or so, so I shove. Turn was a 4, but the killer was the river, which brought a Q to pair both other callers. IGH in 32nd. So it goes. I find myself making it fairly deep into the 180s now...hopefully I can book a couple of ITM finishes to cushion the bankroll. Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Event Pimpage

2 events to pimp.

First, tonight, Mr. Surflexus will attempt to defend his title as Champion of Da Mook. Yes, dear bloglodytes, it's Mookie time! It's the usual crowd at the usual place with the usual password (vegas1) at the usual time (7 pm Pacific, different hours in different places).
Besides the obvious necessity of a buy-in and the password, the only other thing someone should bring is a kevlar cup, to prevent getting kicked in the junk.

The other event coming up is a personal favorite of mine, the Donkeys Always Draw Invitational.

It is a standard 10+1 PokerStars tourney, but it's going to be pot limit instead of no limit, just to change things up. May 29, 7 pm west coast, 10 pm east coast, password is blogsaregay. Be there or be an alpaca.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Actual Poker Content!

Phil Hellmuth’s Tip of the Day from May 8, 2006:

“Playing J-J can be very tricky…I like to bet really big before the flop, or really small.”

Again, I felt I had to share this information with you, the poker blogging community. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a tournament or at a cash table, found JJ in the pocket, and wasn’t sure whether to bet big or small. Thanks to Phil, now I know! I can do either! And you should, too. Jopke.

Went to the Padres game last night. Man, they are on fire. Anyone who can chase Maddux out in the 4th inning is doing something right. Final score, Padres 8 Cubs 3. 9 in a row! Got home just in time to walk the dog. GF is conveniently asleep when I bring the dog back in, so it’s time for some much overdo pokah!

I fired up Stars and jumped in the first turbo SNG that was loading up, a 15+1 18 player. Overall I was pleased with how I was playing. I think I had a good mix of aggression and caution. Generally I didn’t chase draws, which is a big weakness in my game. When I had a drawing hand, I led out aggressively. On hand 2, I found J9d in MP. UTG and +1 limped, so I figured the odds to call would be there and I limped. 2 players folded and the blinds completed and checked. The flop of T8x put me on an OESD. It checked around to me, and not wanting someone to pair an x, I bet out 60 into a pot of 140 and took it down. Nothing exciting, but it worked. On the other hand, I folded AXo more times than I can count. I like playing s00ted aces, but I’ve been burned far too often on the Ax, chasing the idea of a wheel and always being outkicked when the ace pairs. A3, which crippled and then killed me in consecutive hands in the last SNG I played, I instafolded unless it was s00ted, a blind, or if I could get away with a limp call. I think I won with 2 pair once, but the Ax never held up. Once I did flop the wheel with A3. Unfortunately, the SB who limped with 63 wound up with the 2-6 str8, cutting my stack in half. Despite that, I managed to hang around. I’d double up on one hand, and get cut in half on the very next hand. That happened 3 or 4 times in a row. Finally, I was at the final table and making some moves. I’d gotten up to 3rd out of 4, when I found AJh in the BB. UTG folded and the button, who’d been a blind stealer and was the short stack, shoved. I called, and he flipped over QTc. Two Dimes had me as a 60-40 favorite preflop, so I got in with the best hand. After a flop of 4s Js 9h, I was still a 60-40 favorite, my TPTK and flush draw against his OESD. The turn, unfortunately brought the Qs, making me an 11-89 underdog. I had only 5 outs, the 3 aces and 2 remaining jacks. Unfortunately, the river was an 8, giving villain a straight. On the very next hand, I had K9o in the SB. Button shoved, and at blinds of 400/800/50, I had little choice but to call, finding myself against A9. I got within one of pulling a flush out of my ass, but it didn’t happen. Still, I finished ITM for the first time in quite a while. Maybe I can start a winning streak…

Monday, May 08, 2006

I just wanna play poker!

So. An entire weekend without firing up the poker machine once. I feel so unfulfilled. That's what you get when your significant other makes sure you are busy for an entire weekend. Actually, I can't lay all the blame on her. We went out to lunch on Sunday with my parents to celebrate Mother's Day early. Mom starts another round of chemo on Thursday (it's actually going really well), so we figured why not go out to eat before she gets all sick and thrashed up. Then we stopped in to see some friends for the remainder of the afternoon. Otherwise, as Calvin and Hobbes once said, "the days are just packed!" Hopefully this week I'll get a chance to sling some cards and chips around.

On a semi related topic, does it get any softer than Party? I'm just clearing a bonus and playing the Beginner .05/.10 and .10/.20 tables, and it's crazy! Bets will get capped preflop, flop, and turn, only to have what seems to be a busted draw get folded on the river. They'll chase and chase, but don't want to seem to go to a showdown unless they've got some sort of hand. On that note, I find myself being much more aggressive here (logically, I suppose). Knowing that they'll inevitably fold on the river, I just keep reraising thru the streets, and scoop a nice pot at the end. And then I'll play something like this, just for kicks:
Yup. The ever popular Mookie, aka 8To. The one guy that was in the hand with me, I'd beat him down constantly. Even when he would have a decent hand, I'd pull a suckout or something (the river apparently works on Party, too.). So when this one came along, I convinced him that I'd either hit a set or a boat, and he folded a winning hand, TT and QQ, to my 88/QQ. Fun stuff. I can't wait to clear my raked hand requirement so that I can try some of these SNGs. If they're at all like the cash tables, it should be fun.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Home sick with nothing to do...

Let's play poker!!! I ate something that didn't agree with me, and I spent the night driving the porcelain bus. Great weight loss technique...down 3 pounds in less than 24 hours. Anyway...

I played my first Stars 180 a couple of days ago, and totally dug it. I busted out in 69th, but that was more due to my donkalicious ways than anything else. So I figured I had the time, and I'd play a 180. Had a lot of fun. I didn't make any huge moves, but I tended to catch cards when I needed to. Here's one example:

Thanks to everybody at the table who limped around so I could check the BB. Have I said how much I enjoy flopping a boat? Couple of hands later, I found pocket rockets. Thanx to the stoner dude for pushing with 99.

On the very next hand, I found 'em again. Nobody wanted to play this idea why.
Chipped up, chipped down. Only had a few hee haw plays, but after being moved 4 or 5 times, I just wasn't getting any traction. Worse, I was stuck at a table with two pushmonkeys on either side of me. It got to the point that I wouldn't call any blind, because somebody would reraise the hell out of me. I eventually wound up being blinded in with J8d vs KJo. I just missed the money, busting out in 21st. Oh well, I've got time for more.

Oops. Entered another. First hand I find KK on the button. One dude raises it up 6x, and I figured that was enough so I called. Flop came down K75. Dude shoves and I call. He flips over 77, and I'm stoked. Unfortunately, guess what the river was. The feather-plucking case 7! Thank you riverstars. I busted out in 180th!! It was over so quickly I couldn't even get a screenshot. Oh well. On to the next one.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Event Pimpage

Really quick (and for the first one I mean QUICK), there are 3 tournaments to pimp.

Tonight is the weekly WWdN tournament, here are the details:

WWdN: IlliniFan Invitational
Tuesday, May 2nd, 5:30 PM PT / 8:30 PM ET
Tournament: 23665235
$10+1 NLHE
Password: monkey

You've got less than 30 minutes, so get going. Obviously, being as I am still at work, I'm unfortunately not going to make it to that one. One of these days...

Tomorrow night is the latest installment of what has lovingly become referred to as "The Mookie".

The Mookie Fido Mason Tournament
Wednesday, May 3rd, 7 PM PT / 10 PM ET
Tournament: 24020666
10+1 NLHE
Password: vegas1

I'm hoping to make it to the Mookie, but GF's teaching schedule is screwed up right now, so I might not be able to log on. Maybe I can get Mrs. Mookie to convince her to let me talk to my "little blogger buddies".

Thursday is something special. For all you fans of the late, great Poker Champ, we've got the Blue Veiner Memorial.

The Poker Champ Blue Veiner Memorial Tournament
Thursday, May 4th, 5 PM PT / 8 PM ET
Tournament: TBD
10+1 NLHE
Password: TBD

This one may be tough for me to make, as I probably won't get home until almost an hour after the start. If only there were another immigration protest to help with traffic...I got home in just over a half hour on Monday. Watch this and other blogs for more details. In the meanwhile, sign up for these tourneys and Play Like a Champion!

Intercontinental Poker Playing

First of all, see ya tomorrow, BSN. Now give me my 50 gay points.

So, I finally found myself with a large enough chunk of time to jump into a 180 SNG on Stars. I was playing fairly well, not getting into a lot of hands, but generally winning on the hands I got into. One hand I avoided (thankfully) was this one. We're only a few hands (maybe one orbit) into the tourney, and three pushmonkeys decided to see who had the larger junk. That's fine and all, but why on these hands? This does not make sense. KT had the lead, and spiked a K on the river just to close the deal, and knock both push-tards out. Later, I found myself sitting comfortably in the upper 3rd of the players approaching the 2nd break. I looked down to find TT in my pocket. I raised it up 3x the bb (75/150). One guy pushes (I had him tagged as preflop aggressive), and the shortstack calls. I've got the villain covered 2 to 1, so I call. My sphincter tightens up as the cards flip over, revealing AA and KK, costing me a major portion of my stack. From there I simply couldn't get any traction. I hung around between 600 and 1200 chips, but didn't catch any cards worth making a move. Finally, I find ATh and shove. I get called by J9c, and Ad Kh. Of course I get no love from the deck and I go out in 69th place. Not horrible for my first 180, but I expected to do better.

What made it fun, though, was while we were on the first break, Yahoo IM buzzed and it was Chris from Hometown Poker. My first question was, where are you? Aren't you flying to Europe tonight? He replied that he was over the Atlantic, and approximately 3.5 hours out of Munich. Way cool. So he railed me for a bit, and then we jumped into some LHE .10/.20. Had a blast. Chris put a beat on this one player and took all his chips. He got cute and typed "rebuy?" in the chat window. Dude never rebought, but hung around at the table. Wasn't spewing or anything, but Chris dipped dangerously low for a while, and he thought this player was waiting for Chris to bust, so he could drop the rebuy back at him. Good times. He also spent some time railing Garth who was playing in a $3 rebuy tourney. Ain't technology great?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Monday. Meh.

Living in a border region, I run across the illegal immigration issue all the time. Logic says that we should simply enforce the laws, punish/deport those in the country illegally, and go on from there. From a practical perspective, it ain't that easy. First of all, how are you going to round up that many illegal immigrants to deport? Second, they do provide a quantifiable service to the economy. I don't have all the details figured out, but my take on it is that there should be some sort of temporary worker program. There should be strict controls on it, and it should not only regulate the immigrants, but also those who hire them. Those in the country illegally, if they can demonstrate that they meet whatever the applicable criteria are AND they face some sort of penalty for being here illegally in the first place, could apply for the program. This would not be a fast track to citizenship, nor should temporary workers be eligible for the various social services offered by the government. To do that, they should follow current regulations and apply for a formal work visa. Otherwise, they're in the country on a very limited basis and can qualify for very few social services. There. I'm done on my soapbox. If anybody is offended, sorry but it's my blog and my thoughts.

On to poker. Thursday, played in a 3+.40 18 player Stars SNG with Troll. Had fun, and we wound up heads up. He took first and I took second. Nobody knew what hit them...much fun. Definitely the fishiest play I'd seen on Stars. After that, I jumped into a 55+5 18 player. I was playing very well. I caught cards, played fairly aggressively, and had fun. Until 6 handed at 400/800/50. I was in the SB with Ad 3s. EP who was short stacked and could barely cover the BB, pushed. It was only another 485 to call, so I did. BB also called. Flop came down Jd 9d 7d. BB, who'd been an aggressive push-bully, pushed. I had him covered by almost 2000, so I committed the critical error, I relied on a draw. Yeah, it was the nut flush draw, but it was a draw none the less. EP had A3o also, and fuck-tard BB managed to practically limp with 5d 4d, thus flopping a flush. I never saw another diamond, and I was crippled. Very next hand, I found A3 again, this time s00ted. I should have known, and run. UTG, who I had tagged as LAG, pushed. Stupid me, I called. He flipped over QJo, and I thought I had a chance. Two Dimes had me as a 59 to 41 favorite preflop. Post flop was another story. Two Dimes put me at a 13 percent underdog, with a Jd Th 4s. Turn made it worse, but gave me outs on a straight, when the Qh fell. The river did not bring me justice in the form of a King. Rather, it added insult to injury, with the Qs. Villain gets a boat, I got a bubble. That put me on tilt for the entire weekend. It was just as well that I didn't really have time to play.

Unrelated, I'm working on clearing a bonus at Party. I'd never played there before, but oh what a fish feast! Twice I've logged into the beginner tables (since I just opened the account I must be a newbie...besides, I'm just trying to clear raked hands at micro limits), and been up 2 and 4 dollars respectively, inside of 15 minutes. And that's not with a monster hand or anything, like cracking somebody's flush with a boat. That's just reading somebody's bet bet check the river, I bet, fish folds and my King high wins the pot. Crazy fun stuff. Once I get past this bonus, I'm definitely going to try my luck at some of their SNGs and tourneys.

Finally, there's a new website that is under creation. Most of it is still under construction, but Troll has decided that he wants to have a site that is simply an online poker resource, geared to the newer players. He intends to maintain a blogroll and featured blog (authored by yours truly), featured hand/hands, a glossary of poker hands (hence my previous post), a glossary of poker chat, a bonus whore section, the drink of the week, and whatever other demented thoughts leak out of his ears onto his keyboard. The site will be, and will be coming online in short order. Check it out. **Update. I see the blog section is live. No real formatting has been done, and Troll posted everything with my html code as text. Again, it's a work in progress. Bear with us as we iron out the bugs. See ya all around the room.