Thursday, March 30, 2006

Quickie Update

Played (for a few moments, anyway) in Mookie's Big O Texas Crazy Lady tournament tonight. I started off at what was determined to be the TV table. Crazy Lady, Katitude, TripJax, Sir Waffle Man, TraumaPoker, and a few others made for a strong table. I did drop the first hammer of the evening. I only picked up the early blinds, but dammit I dropped the hammer! Despite that, I went out way too early. Twice I underplayed Big Slick (spade suited both times, interestingly enough), and twice Waffles put a hurt on me. I really should have remembered to get the Kevlar cup that Garth used to prevent a junk kicking last week. That got me short stacked and tilted in a hurry (helluva combination), which led to my quick exit in 20th place. Waffles ended up busting out in 5th, and TripJax went out in 4th. Heads Up wound up with wesmotv against Katitude. She used her wiley feminine charms, and tilted her way to victory! Actually, I missed the last few hands (gf came home), so who knows exactly what she did. Ultimately tho, she won, and that's all that matters. See ya all next week.

After my hurried exit from Mookie-land, I jumped into a 15+1 18 player turbo on Stars. I played very well, and I think the musical selections helped. I sorted my iTunes library by genre and let it play. During Mookie's tournament, I got into a set of GWAR, and while I love their music, listening to such lovely compositions as Slaughterama and Sexecutioner did not seem to help my game. During the SNG, I had mostly Kid Rock, and a couple of the DJ Dangermouse "Grey Album" mashups. It seemed to be a good groove, and I wound up in 2nd. There were no fabulous hands that I had, no real suckouts, I just played solid poker and got the cards I needed. I forgot to get a screenshot, but when we were 3 handed, I looked at my stats. I'd been in 37 percent of the hands dealt. Of the hands that went to showdown, I won 90% of them. And those combined with pots that I won without a showdown, I wound up winning almost 75 percent of the pots I got into. End result, $81 payoff. Not bad for a $16 investment. With the $25+2 the other day, I'm finally sending my b/r in the right direction again. Hopefully I can keep this going. And I'm sorry I don't have the hyperlinks in this post. It's 1:30 in the morning, and I'm not as motivated as Ingoal, so I need sleep. See ya on the digital felt.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Finally! The Drought is Broken!

So after far too long without a cash, I played this lovely SNG. It was a $25+2 18 player turbo, and I played some of my best poker yet. I started off kind of card dead, but after about the 10th hand, I started getting live cards. I got AA, AK, QQ, and KK in 4 of 6 hands. When I raised the first two (AA and AK), I got no callers and showed both after it folded to me. Then came something like 94o, which I obviously folded. After that was the QQ. I raised that up and got one person who pushed. I had him covered almost 2 to 1, so I called. His JTh didn't improve, and I won another big pot. Next had was T2o, which I again folded. Very next hand was KK. Insane! I raised it up again, and got two callers. Flop came down K97. First caller pushed. Next caller reraised all-in. I had them both covered and called. First one had K9. 2nd had 77. My set held up and I took down another fat pot. Then I went card dead again, but I knew this was my tourney. I had two bad hands where I had good cards, but got beat. One (A7d) was I picked up two pair at the turn, only to find out the BB got lucky and flopped a typical BB junk straight (I think he held something stupid like 48). I'll give him credit for slow playing me and letting me give him a 3rd of my stack. The other one was I again picked up two pair (AJ), and lost when the other guy rivered AQ two pair. Then I started to get in danger of blinding out. I got lucky three handed and tripled up when I woke up in the BB with cowboys. From that point, I pwned the whole thing. I folded a few junk hands, but all of my cards were playable, especially heads up. A3, 22, 44, QT. Finally, the last hand came down to my A3 in the SB. I called the blind, and BB pushed with 56 sooted. No improvement and I win a nice little chunk of cash. If I couldn't make it to the Mansion with some of the other bloggers, I'll settle for some Jack Daniels and a nice little win.

Despite what the timestamp will say, It's 1:56 a.m. and I'm beat. I'm going to bed. C-ya all later.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Random Thoughts for a Friday

So that everybody is in a proper frame of mind for a Friday, click here. The thanks (or blame if you prefer) goes to Big Slick Nuts. The man obviously has way too much time on his hands.

And now the Friday casual outfit. I have to get me one of those ties.

And now for the stupid law enforcement story of the day, which has been shared by several bloggers, click here. I guess they'll at least show a high effectiveness rate. I mean, how hard is it to find drunks at a bar? Just as Al.

And finally, here's a video montage of people who are most likely more stupid than you are. Enjoy their pain.

One more thing from our "who thinks up this shit" department. Those of you who remember Jolt Cola should appreciate this. I don't know if it's nationwide yet, but for you Red Bull junkies who would rather have a different flavor energy drink, and for those soda drinkers who don't think Mountain Dew has enough of a sugar and caffeine kick, here ya go.

Happy Friday, everybody.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Random Musings

Tired. Must get thoughts down before passing out.

Mookie put on a helluva fun tourney tonight. Somehow, I made the final table. I busted out in 9th, but hell, I'll take it.

Finally got around to updating the blogroll. Had several bloggers that I've been reading or been meaning to read, and finally got around to adding to the list. These include Mookie, Dugglebogey, Garthmeister, Hoyazo, Big Slick Nuts and Nick Christy. Great blogs, with lots of great stories, lessons, comics, and other random (hmmm, where have I come across that before) information, both poker-related and not.

Duggles in particular is making his own waves across the bloggerdome, by doing banners for everybody who wants one. I knew I wanted one, and I finally figured out what I wanted. The irony is that I went to his site to ask him to hook a brother up, and he'd already done one! The man has talent. Of course, Blogger's word verification kept locking up on me, never giving me a new word, so I couldn't post there. So Duggles, I've got my banner idea. Something like A,Q,J,T of spades on the felt, with the text, "Got Outs?". Well, whaddaya think? Let me know, and thanks for already doing one. You certainly nailed the "random" part of it!

Big Slick Nuts had a post on Monday that got me thinking. Has anybody ever tried to run a poker room off of a USB flash drive? Most of you regular readers know that my job makes it extremely difficult to get home in time for many of the tournaments that the bloggers play in. In most cases, I can get home within 10 minutes or so of the start time, but traffic and distance just tend to work against me. I'd preregister from work and just sit out until I made it home, but our IT department would shit giant octogonal bricks if I dared install PokerStars or Full Tilt on my computer. They've even got it set up that every log-off syncs my hard drive to the network server, so even my "My Documents" directory is saved on our network. In a worst case scenario, I'd get a laptop and find a wifi spot on the way home to register and/or play, but I don't really need a laptop. If a client can be made to run off of a flash drive, that might give me the flexibility I need. Any thoughts out there? I'm probably going to try it, but if anybody knows for certain one way or the other, let me know.

All right. I'm done. It's 1 a.m. here, despite what the time stamp says, and I'm beat. See ya on the felt.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Quick Update

Got to play in my second ever blogger event. Mookie put on the Big O Bird Flu Waffles tournament on Stars tonight. 23 registered for the fun, including Mookie, Mrs. Mookie, Waffles, Garthmeister, Sox Lover, Vegas Rico and others (sorry for not having the links). It was a blast. Garth showed up ready to prevent a junk kicking with his kevlar cup. I held my own, tho, and I'm pretty pleased with the way I played. I was definitely more loose and aggressive than I normally play, but being at a table with Mookie, Sir Waffles and Garth I felt I needed to up the aggression level. I was in the top 4 for a decent amount of time, and made it as high as 2nd place. The point where it changed for me and I started my downward slide was when Garth kicked me in the junk. It wasn't a bad beat by a long shot, but he definitely had me preflop. The only reason I was in was because of the ever-dangerous Big Blind Discount. I flopped a pair to what wound up being Garth's 2 overcards. In the end, we both rivered a flush, my Queen coming up short against his King flush. Still, the best moment of the tourney for me was this hand.

PokerStars Game #4381790884: Tournament #21642234, Hold'em No Limit -
Level V (75/150) - 2006/03/22 - 23:06:53 (ET)
Table '21642234 3' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 2: SirFWALGMan (2090 in chips)
Seat 4: VegasRico (5545 in chips)
Seat 5: SoxLover (1920 in chips) out of hand (moved from another table
into small blind)
Seat 6: Garthmeister (4575 in chips)
Seat 8: iamhoff (2865 in chips)
Garthmeister: posts small blind 75
iamhoff: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [7h 2d]
SirFWALGMan: folds
VegasRico: folds
Garthmeister: calls 75
iamhoff: raises 300 to 450
SirFWALGMan said, "ty"
Garthmeister: folds
iamhoff collected 300 from pot
iamhoff: shows [7h 2d] (high card Seven)
iamhoff said, "hammer"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 300 | Rake 0
Seat 2: SirFWALGMan folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: VegasRico (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Garthmeister (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: iamhoff (big blind) collected (300)

No matter what else happened, I bluffed Garth with the Hammer! As it was, I went out in 9th. Garth made it all the way to heads up, and wound up in 2nd. Good job Garth. Count me in for the next one!

Monday, March 20, 2006

You Know It's Bad When...

You know your game sucks when the only pride you can take is in your laydowns. I was really proud of this one:

PokerStars Game #4359776715: Tournament #21678548, Hold'em No Limit -
Level II (15/30) - 2006/03/20 - 23:13:52 (ET)
Table '21678548 4' Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: Lilhenny5454 (1410 in chips)
Seat 3: iamhoff (1920 in chips)
Seat 4: Superdad7777 (1155 in chips)
Seat 5: huskerfan721 (1010 in chips)
Seat 6: kingster1711 (2645 in chips)
Seat 7: rosie422 (1830 in chips)
Seat 8: flopinAces (1555 in chips)
Seat 9: marvin43619 (1975 in chips)
iamhoff: posts small blind 15
Superdad7777: posts big blind 30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [Qc Qh]
huskerfan721: calls 30
kingster1711: calls 30
rosie422: folds
flopinAces: folds
marvin43619: calls 30
Lilhenny5454: folds
iamhoff: raises 60 to 90
Superdad7777: folds
huskerfan721: calls 60
kingster1711: calls 60
marvin43619: calls 60
*** FLOP *** [7h Td 9s]
iamhoff: bets 60
huskerfan721: folds
kingster1711: calls 60
marvin43619: raises 330 to 390
iamhoff: calls 330
kingster1711: raises 2165 to 2555 and is all-in
marvin43619: calls 1495 and is all-in
iamhoff: folds
*** TURN *** [7h Td 9s] [Qs]
*** RIVER *** [7h Td 9s Qs] [6c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
kingster1711: shows [Jc 8c] (a straight, Eight to Queen)
marvin43619: shows [7c 9d] (two pair, Nines and Sevens)

I really didn't want to lay down the Hiltons, especially on a 10-high flop with a shot at a runner runner straight, but that push was a nice wake-up call. Given the Q on the turn, I'm really glad that marvin pushed after the flop. If I was still live with that 3rd Q, I probably would've pushed then and lost it all. Not that it would've made a difference in the end, but I'm proud that I was able to restrain myself.

This one was a pretty good laydown also. Not quite as dramatic or disappointing, but I lived to bet another day.

PokerStars Game #4359838330: Tournament #21678548, Hold'em No Limit -
Level III (25/50) - 2006/03/20 - 23:18:13 (ET)
Table '21678548 4' Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Lilhenny5454 (1610 in chips)
Seat 3: iamhoff (1415 in chips)
Seat 4: Superdad7777 (2200 in chips)
Seat 5: huskerfan721 (1890 in chips)
Seat 6: kingster1711 (3125 in chips)
Seat 7: rosie422 (1755 in chips)
Seat 8: flopinAces (1505 in chips)
flopinAces: posts small blind 25
Lilhenny5454: posts big blind 50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [Jd Qh]
iamhoff: calls 50
Superdad7777: calls 50
huskerfan721: calls 50
kingster1711: calls 50
rosie422: folds
flopinAces: folds
Lilhenny5454: checks
*** FLOP *** [Th Jc 3s]
Lilhenny5454: bets 300
iamhoff: calls 300
Superdad7777: folds
huskerfan721: folds
kingster1711: raises 300 to 600
Lilhenny5454: raises 960 to 1560 and is all-in
iamhoff: folds
kingster1711: calls 960
*** TURN *** [Th Jc 3s] [4h]
*** RIVER *** [Th Jc 3s 4h] [8h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Lilhenny5454: shows [3h Jh] (a flush, Jack high)
kingster1711: shows [Tc Qs] (a pair of Tens)

Unfortunately, these are the only hands I can be proud of tonite. 4 SNGs. No finish higher than 14th (45 player). Glad I'm not doing the 45 SNG Challenge, because I'd be sucking wind. I think the dealers at Stars hate me. Don't know why, I've never talked smack about them or anything.

My final SNG of the evening, I was dealt AcKh at UTG+1 on the first hand. UTG folds and I raise up to 100. SB and BB (Villain) call. Flop is 7QTc Hmmm. Big slick, gutshot straight draw, one-outer nut flush draw. Do I check or do I represent? Blinds check to me, and I throw out a bet of 200 (roughly pot-sized). Villain calls Turn is a 10. He checks, I check. River is an 8. Missed my straight and my flush. He bets 150. Figuring him for a missed draw (I put him on KJ, my mistake) and stealing the pot (call the blind, check the turn), I call. He's got JcJd, and big slick is cracked. Fast forward to the last hand (or rather MY last hand) of the same SNG. I'm short stacked, around 1000 or so, and after 3 other crappy SNGs, I'm really tilting. I wake up to JcJs in the BB. Folds to the button, who threw out a 3x raise. Villain in SB (same as first hand) calls, as do I. Flop is 4cTsAs. The only explanation I've got for why I didn't think that somebody paired an ace is because I was riding the Tilt-a-Whirl, and dammit, I was going to make my jacks work! Villain checks. I bet out about 1/2 the pot, for about 2/3 of my stack. Button folds and villain calls. Turn is a 10, and this is reminding me more and more about the 1st hand, when my big slick was cracked by JJ. I push and villain calls. And he flips up....wait for it...AhKc! We almost exactly reversed out hands, and this fucker won both of them! I know, I had no business being in the hand once the ace came down on the flop, but I was tilted, I figured the 3x raise preflop wasn't high enough for anything (at this table at least) greater than QQ, and more importantly...I had outs!!! I was runner runner for both a straight and a flush, dammit! Except for those hands, I got squat all night. Twice I got all in against somebody, both times with Ax where I had them outkicked, only to split the pot on a boat. Twice! I also chopped a pot 3 ways when we all had Ax and pulled Broadway. Beyond that, I got things like A6o, 59, 2Ts, K3o, and J4o. Stellar hands. And when I'd have something like A8s or KTs, the flop would be paired on the board and wouldn't touch my flush. Maybe tomorrow will be better...

Not Much To Report

A rare lunchtime in the office. Amazingly, I'm not on the road somewhere, eating out of a fast food restaurant bag in the front seat of my truck. If only I could trust our IT department to not shit eggrolls, I'd load up some poker software here at work and have some fun. Since that's not likely to happen, I figured I'd catch up a bit on the blogging.

Last week was kind of weird. I put up a post on Thursday, and Blogger's server that has my blog crashed. I think the only other blog I tried to access and couldn't was Iggy's. Oh well. Sometime Friday they brought it back to life, and here we are.

It was a busy weekend with the gf. She's been job hunting, and she's looking much more into the corporate arena than her current gig (neuropsych assessment at the Veterans Administration Med Center), and I spent most of the weekend doing that favorite guy thing, shopping for chick clothes!! And it wasn't even as though we were looking at fun stuff, like bikinis or lingerie. We were looking at suits, jackets, conservative office stuff. Her VA job lets her get by with jeans and sweaters, and this high-powered office stuff (or at least the places she's interviewed) are much more formal than that. In any respect, part of Saturday and most of Sunday we spent going from store to store looking at things. At least the nicer stores we were in (Nordstroms, Ann Taylor, et al) are swanky enough to put out chairs and sofas for the poor schlob guys that get dragged in there. If only somebody could've brought me a drink. Sigh.

By 3 in the afternoon on Sunday, we were done (woot!) and went home. The gf decided I'd been good enough to earn some uninterrupted time on the poker machine. I promptly fired up a Tilt SNG, only to donk out in 7th. I'd doubled up on the 3rd hand where somebody with A9 pushed an AAT flop onto me. Unfortunately for him, I held AT. Veddy veddy nice. I don't know what happened, tho, but I was out less than 10 minutes later. I know that I donked off a lot of chips a couple of times on pocket pairs that flopped well (i.e. 99 with an undercard flop), but didn't hold up when a K hit the board on the river. The hand that killed me was something like my shortstacked KJ vs somebody's JT. J on the flop, I push, he calls and pairs his T on the river. I instantly jumped into another SNG, mad but not quite tilted. Started off nice and tight. Around level 3, I caught some luck and with 47 in the BB, flopped a straight on a rainbow 653. The turn brought a diamond, for two on the board. At that point I pushed, hoping to scare off anybody who was drawing. Unfortunately, I had a caller who had the AJd. Yup. He gets his diamond and IGH in 6th. I still had time before dinner, tho, and wasn't done playing. I closed out Tilt and fired up Stars. Lo and behold, they credited $10 to my account. Apparently I cleared a bonus I didn't know I had. Cool. So I knew I didn't have time for an SNG, so I decided to play some .10/.25 PLO. I'm moderately crappy on PLO, but I do enjoy playing it. So I took my free $10 to the table and walked away 15 minutes later with $25. I was a complete donkey, but I was getting cards when I needed. Two boats and a nut flush certainly constitute playable hands, even for a total fishie like me. With that, I almost made back the SNGs I lost on Tilt.

One last thing, everybody should give mad congrats to Gracie at Sheverb. In the blogger event that Iggy and company set up on Paradise Poker, Gracie won the whole thing, and won a $1500 seat in a WSOP event of her choosing!! Now everybody has a reason to head to Vegas this summer to watch one of our own take on the world. Good luck Gracie!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

100 miles and runnin'

So, living the road warrior life that I’ve degenerated into, I haven’t been on the poker machine all that much. The blogging machine, either, for that matter, but I digress. Things finally caught up with me Monday night, and I got sick. Violently, sleeping on the bathroom floor ill. And it wasn’t alcohol-related. I did a chat a shot of Grey Goose with Joe Speaker and a couple other bloggers during the DADI, but that was it. Side note, I placed 26 out of 57 (I think), so I’m not too disappointed in that. I had a couple of all-in moments where the poker gods smiled, and unfortunately more moments where I adhered to the title of the tourney, Donkeys Always Draw. Still, it was a blast, finally getting to play in a blogger event and see many of you who I read regularly and who occasionally wander over here to check out the dementia that is my life. In particular, I saw Iggy, Drewspop, Joe Speaker, Ingoal, Wes, Waffles, and many more that were unfortunately purged from my system during the illness. Back to that. Despite being ill, I spent Tuesday driving from appointment to appointment, keeping projects on track. In the course of doing that, I managed to save my company approximately $122,000 by getting some fees paid early (by 2 hours), ahead of a fee increase.

So Wednesday I stayed home. I earned it, dammit. I was feeling somewhat better (having spent the previous day resting and drinking plenty of fluid, no, wait, working and expelling plenty of fluids), so I played in a couple of MTT’s. I’d played in one before, and placed 45th out of 1600, so I wanted to see how I’d do this time. The first one was a $10+1 plus rebuys on Stars (same as the first one). I knew that people would be somewhat more aggressive due to the rebuy period, but I was at a table with 4 maniacs who pushed (literally) for the first 12 hands. It was crazy, and I couldn’t thank God enough when the rebuy period ended. I played decently, but wound up later in the game getting lots of optimistic-looking hands that entirely missed the flop. 44. AJs. KQs. 77. And so on. End result, I busted out in 266th out of 1400 or so. The second one was better in some ways, but I did worse. It was a $3+.30 plus rebuys. The maniacs weren’t there, which helped, but I wound up hurting myself, due to the start time. I realized that I had no food in the casa (finally feeling better, and ready to eat for the first time since Monday night – btw, lost 4 pounds in the 30 or so hours from Monday evening to Wednesday morning), so I built up my stack a bit (little under 3k w/ 25/50 blinds), clicked “sitting out” and ran to the store. I figured I’d easily be back before the add-on, but my grocery store, the one I’ve gone to for almost 3 years, decided to rearrange everything over the weekend. I couldn’t find a damn thing. They even rearranged the frozen food section. Breads? Where are they? Isn’t that where shampoo used to be? Suffice to say I missed the add-on period by 3 minutes! 3 freaking minutes!! Still, I played fairly well, until I won 3 pots in a row. They were decent hands, but not easy favorites by a long shot. 77 vs. A7. 7 high flop and he pushes. I win. KTs vs Hiltons. Flop is QJx. He pushes, I’ve got him covered, and the river brings the A for the straight. 3rd was (I believe) A5c vs KQc. Flop is all middle clubs, and my nut flush wins. After that I was way too full of myself and played anything. 89s? Yeah, I’ll call that raise. 33? Yeah, I’ll call that raise. Next thing I know, I’m all in AK vs AJ. Villain pairs his J, and IGH in 454th out of 1647. Oh well.

Heading back on the road again, in a few hours. Pathie is not quite 5 years old, and is now pushing 152k miles. Can I interest anybody in a 2001 Nissan Pathfinder? High miles, but they’re all freeway miles!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Assorted Poker Content

Hey! Actual poker content! Between the jury duty and being on the road all week, I haven't gotten in much poker. It's just as well. When I've been playing well, I've been the bubble boy. When I haven't, well, let's just say that CJ's title of Luckbox is under no threat from me. Admittedly, a couple of bubbles were due to the GF. She's not supposed to wake up after she goes to sleep, 2 nights in a row. That cost me $55 in buy-ins where I had to click "sitting out" and come back just in time to be all in and bubble out. Ugh. New rule, agreed to by the lovely GF. After dog walking, I am allowed to wake her. If she wants to go back to sleep, I'm free to play. If she needs me to fulfill my boyfriend duties of talking, backrubs, etc. (you weren't thinking about sex, were you?), then I do that until she goes to sleep. Then it's pokertime. Of course that puts me online at midnight or so, west coast, so there aren't many people on at that point.

Now, an example of when things go right. I most likely wouldn't have played if there had been a preflop raise, but if you're going to check the hammer around to me, so be it. A nice junk flop gave me plenty of "big blind junk that hit" cover, and the hammer prevails.

And now an example of how the river giveth and the river taketh away. First, the give. I'm shortstacked and wake up to AJ in the SB. Here we go. BB is the big stack, so he calls, just to see if he'll get lucky. He did, until the river.

PokerStars Game #4250004289: Tournament #21128431, Hold'em No Limit -
Level VIII (200/400) - 2006/03/11 - 11:17:31 (ET)
Table '21128431 1' Seat #5 is the button
Seat 2: Pickles34 (5293 in chips)
Seat 4: spacemandave (4669 in chips)
Seat 5: WannaGoAllin (5900 in chips)
Seat 6: iamhoff (630 in chips)
Seat 7: Crackrock11 (10508 in chips)
Pickles34: posts the ante 25
spacemandave: posts the ante 25
WannaGoAllin: posts the ante 25
iamhoff: posts the ante 25
Crackrock11: posts the ante 25
iamhoff: posts small blind 200
Crackrock11: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [Jc Ah]
Pickles34: folds
spacemandave: folds
WannaGoAllin: folds
iamhoff: raises 205 to 605 and is all-in
Crackrock11: calls 205
Crackrock11 said, "lol"
*** FLOP *** [Ks 5c Qh]
*** TURN *** [Ks 5c Qh] [4h]
iamhoff said, "noooooo"
*** RIVER *** [Ks 5c Qh 4h] [Ts]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
iamhoff: shows [Jc Ah] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
Crackrock11: shows [5s 4c] (two pair, Fives and Fours)
iamhoff said, "whew"
Crackrock11 said, "hahaha"
iamhoff collected 1335 from pot
WannaGoAllin said, "nice catch"

And now how the river taketh away. It was almost the ideal situation. We shared a card, but I had him out kicked. Unfortunately, his lower kicker actually helped him.

PokerStars Game #4250031485: Tournament #21128431, Hold'em No Limit -
Level IX (300/600) - 2006/03/11 - 11:21:26 (ET)
Table '21128431 1' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 2: Pickles34 (1483 in chips)
Seat 4: spacemandave (3594 in chips)
Seat 5: WannaGoAllin (9225 in chips)
Seat 6: iamhoff (1520 in chips)
Seat 7: Crackrock11 (11178 in chips)
Pickles34: posts the ante 50
spacemandave: posts the ante 50
WannaGoAllin: posts the ante 50
iamhoff: posts the ante 50
Crackrock11: posts the ante 50
WannaGoAllin: posts small blind 300
iamhoff: posts big blind 600
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to iamhoff [Tc Ah]
Crackrock11: folds
Pickles34: folds
spacemandave: folds
WannaGoAllin: raises 600 to 1200
iamhoff: raises 270 to 1470 and is all-in
WannaGoAllin: calls 270
*** FLOP *** [9s 2h 2d]
*** TURN *** [9s 2h 2d] [Jc]
*** RIVER *** [9s 2h 2d Jc] [Kc]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
WannaGoAllin: shows [Ts Qs] (a straight, Nine to King)
iamhoff: shows [Tc Ah] (a pair of Deuces)
WannaGoAllin collected 3190 from pot
WannaGoAllin said, "gg"

And let me close with some sorta non poker-related content. I just want to say how outrageously proud I am to be a part of this blogging community. Several bloggers have recently had loved ones pass away, and the rest of us have been there to offer kind words, virtual hugs, and dial a shots for support. BG decided that he wasn't pooping efficiently enough and wound up with a perforated colon. Bloggers got together and decided to transfer fundage into his poker accounts to help defray medical and living expenses while he was out of work. And now Joe Speaker is going thru an ugly divorce. The bloggers have been so quick to post kind (and some not so kind) words, dial a shots, offers of vacations, and overall good vibes. Watching this group in action, a group whose common interests include activities that many describe as "vice", gives me hope for humanity. Sorry for getting all deep and meaningful on ya...too much Jack Daniels and not enough sleep last night. Don't worry. I'll be back to being the degenerate you all love soon enough.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Teh Randomness of 5

1 may be the loneliest number, but 5 is the master of lists. After the wonderous event that is Jury Duty, work had piled up to an extreme level. As such, I've barely been in the office more than 3 hours a day, and on the road for the remainder of the time. The end result of this is my brain is currently resembling the "brain on drugs" ads from the 80s, without the chemical enhancement for enjoyment. I'm not certain, but I think I got screwed on the deal. Oh well. In the meanwhile, here's some random thoughts leaking out my ears and dripping onto the keyboard. Enjoy.

The Last 5 Songs to come up on my shuffled iTunes library:

In The City - Joe Walsh
In The City (live) - The Eagles (I love these amazing coincidences)
Early Mornin' Stoned Pimp - Kid Rock
Los Angeles Is Burning - Bad Religion
32 Flavors - Ani DiFranco

The Last 5 Songs I heard today on Sirius Hair Nation:

In My Dreams - Dokken
Shot in the Dark - Ozzy Osbourne
Shake Me - Cinderella
Too Late For Love - Def Leppard
Modern Day Cowboy - Tesla

The 5 Favorite Beers I'd bring to a Deserted Island:

Karl Strauss - Amber Lager
Stone Brewing - Stone Pale Ale
Stone Brewing - Arrogant Bastard Ale
Guinness Stout
Widmer - Hefeweizen

This selection was inspired partly by Sir AlCantHang, because of a song he posted recently. I love the production and overall sound of this particular song. The guitars are full and punchy, the drums are deep and powerful, and the whole thing just comes together in a wall of sonic purity. My 5 Favorite Songs Because of their Production:

Pull Me Under - Dream Theatre
In My Dreams - Dokken
Lay It Down - Ratt
Wild Side - Motley Crue
One - Metallica

Last 5 hands in the most recent SNG I played:

82o. Folded preflop.
23s. Folded preflop after a 2x BB raise.
Q6c. Folded prelop after a 4x BB raise and one other caller
35o. Checked the BB. Folded on the flop.
JJ. In SB. Called a 2x BB raise preflop. Flop was all low cards. All in vs. AKo. Villain paired his ace on the turn.

Last 5 websites visited:
My Yahoo
AlCantHang
Nick Christy
Autoblog
Downloadsquad

That last one I just discovered. It's another Weblogs site, like Autoblog and Card Squad. As you might expect, it seems pretty tech/geek oriented, but there's some cool stuff to be found there. This is their latest time waster. I downloaded it, but haven't played it yet. It looks way cool, tho, especially if you are old enough to remember the early days of home video games. See Wil Wheaton for additional trips down this branch of memory lane.

Hopefully I'll climb out from under the mountain of work I've got and be able to put some actual thought into a future post.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

And Now, The Final Installment of Hoff Goes to Court

9:55 a.m. Arrive outside of courtroom. The gang's all here, for our 10:00 start.

10:30 a.m. WTC bailiff lets us into the courtroom. I ask if she missed me. She said yes. You have no idea how smooth I am with the white trash chicks!

10:35 a.m. Back to the witnesses. One normal person and 4 San Diego PD Detectives.

10:55 a.m. Prosecution rests.

10:56 a.m. Defense rests. We all feel sorry for the defense counsel, because she's been dealt a shit sandwich. Public Defender's office assigned her to a case that had a mountain of circumstantial evidence against a defendent who must have been related to Hellmuth or Matusow based on his several outbursts and meltdowns. She presented no arguments, because there really weren't any she could.

10:57 a.m. Closing statement by prosecution. Basic recap. The defendent's a creep, yadda yadda yadda.

11:25 a.m. Closing statement by defense. She's trying to come up with something, but there's very little she can do. Think of it as she's all in and only has a chance to split a side pot.

11:35 a.m. Judge and attorneys go into sidebar.

11:55 a.m. We break for lunch. We walk outside and step into a freaking media circus. Former San Diego Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham is being sentenced for his extreme bribery conviction. Final tally. 8 years, 4 months, 12 satellite trucks, 20 other vehicles with media identification, and about 15 San Diego PD and San Diego County Sheriff vehicles for security and crowd control. Surprisingly, Quizno's a block away is nearly empty. They must have been speaking at that point, so lunch was quick.

1:20 p.m. Walking down the hallway with Juror #1. Behind me, I hear "are those my jurors blocking the hallway?" I feel a hand on my back and turn to see WTC bailiff smiling at me. Damn, left phone in briefcase. Gotta find a way to sneak a pic.

1:35 p.m. Reenter courtroom. Judge lays out jury instructions. She gives us the definitions of the charges, the various statutes, procedural stuff, and sends us to the deliberating room.

1:45 p.m. Straw poll. Count 1, 10 guilty, 2 not guilty. Count 2, 12 guilty. County 3, 6 guilty, 6 not guilty. Count 4 (which is an alternate count to Counts 2 and 3, an "either or" situation) 11 guilty, 1 not guilty. Lots of deliberation, lots of discussion. Watch security video again. Look over exhibit photos. One guy is being a hold out, for a harsher conviction. Back and forth.

3:45 p.m. Question to the judge (side note, WTC bailiff has gone off duty, no pic, sigh).

4:02 p.m. Judge sends reply. We are in agreement on the first two counts, split 6-6 on count 3, and 11 to 1 on count 4. Stubborn guy keeps throwing out a bunch of (admittedly valid) emotional arguments, but they don't relate to the evidence in the case. End of day for jurors is typically 4:30...we don't want to come back on Monday.

4:20 p.m. We notify judge we've reached a verdict.

4:35 p.m. We go back to court. Bonus. Defendent is present. Will we see a meltdown?

4:40 p.m. Judge says that our verdicts show inconsistencies. Back to the deliberation room.

4:42 p.m. Not one of us sees the inconsistency she's talking about.

4:43 p.m. Send note to judge asking if the inconsistency is that we need to make a separate special finding on count 4 relating to count 1.

4:50 p.m. Judge comes to deliberation room with both attorneys. Our guess was correct. We tell her that we've reached a correct verdict.

5:00 p.m. (needed to get the bailiff) We wander back to the courtroom.

5:05 p.m. Verdict is read. Clerk records the verdict. Attorneys ask a few questions. No meltdown, but there are 3 bailiffs ready to club the guy into submission if needed.

5:20 p.m. Free at last! Free at last!!!

To sum up the case (now that I can), the defendent was accused of stealing a laptop out of a hotel room at the Hyatt La Jolla where a conference was going on, on a Monday in October. On that Tuesday, he called a computer store to "get the password wiped off of this Powerbook G4 he bought on eBay." Later Tuesday, security cameras caught him stealing one of the conference staff's laptop bag and purse at the same hotel, same conference. Less than 2 hours later, he was captured on video at the Nordstrom's less than a mile from the hotel buying stuff with stolen credit cards. The first purchase went thru, but the second one came back voided, and he bolted. Wednesday, he was accused of taking another laptop bag from a conference at the La Jolla Marriott, one block away from the Hyatt. That Friday, he showed up at the computer store, approx. 5 miles from the hotels (which coincidentally are approximately a mile from Casa De Hoff), with the Powerbook so he can get the password wiped. Fortunately, this set off alarms to the store reps. They got into the computer and found the owner's info and called him. He confirmed the theft and they called SDPD. He was picked up at the store, and most of the stolen items were found in the back of his SUV. Count 1 was the residential burglary of the Powerbook, and even though there was no evidence he'd been in the room, the call to the computer store shrunk the timeline enough that we were convinced. Count 2 (grand theft) was a no-brainer. Count 3 was the Marriott grand theft. There was no evidence showing he'd been there, no videos, no witnesses. We hung 6-6 on that one. Those were the only outs he had, and sure as hell they held up. Count 4 was "receiving stolen goods". The one hang up guy here was so convinced he'd stolen the laptop from the Marriott that there was no way he thought the guy had received stolen goods. He finally bowed to the reality that there wasn't enough evidence on count 3 that he could vote for count 4.

I've done my duty, and now I get three years off before they call my name again. I am not looking forward to the crap load of work that's waiting for me, though. Oh well. That's the price of justice. I just need to figure out how to get downtown one more time to see if I can get a pic of WTC bailiff for all of you.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

And now for this update...

8:55 a.m. Arrive outside of courtroom.

9:05 a.m. WTC arrives. Unfortunately for her, her company has another office about 5 blocks from the courthouse. She went to work yesterday, took a break for dinner, and went back until about 9 p.m. last night. Too bad. GF was out last night...I could've shown her a great time. Except for that whole, "I'm in love with my GF, etc. etc." thing.

9:20 a.m. Bailiff, who is kinda cute in her own WTC way, lets us in. Defendent is sitting upright in his seat at the defense table.

9:25 a.m. Judge begins laying out the details of how the attorneys will select the actual jury panel, peremptory challenges, and so on.

9:25.45 a.m. Defendent launches into a tirade about his (presumably) court-appointed attorney.

9:26 a.m. Judge orders all of us out of the courtroom.

9:40 a.m. We re-enter. Defendent is not present. Judge informs us that the attorneys agreed that we could continue without him.

9:50 a.m. Juror #2 is excused. I am bypassed, as another 15 or so are dismissed.

10:01 a.m. WTC is dismissed. Sob. No chance to get a cameraphone pic. She just looked at me from the door to the courtroom, smiled, and was gone from my life. Next target, WTC bailiff! Mmmmm. Tiffany. Schwing!

10:20 a.m. Jury is empaneled, sworn in, and I am now Juror #2. Others are dismissed and we take a break.

10:45 a.m. Back from break. Opening statements. Case is not super clear cut. Defendent may be a creep and a freak, but he has outs.

11:55 a.m. Lunch at Karl Strauss. Old married guy Juror #1 has unfortunately taken the place of WTC. Definitely not as cute, although his man-boobs are almost as big as hers were. Due to his presence, beer is desired but not consumed.

1:30 p.m. Back in court. Witnesses. Not very exciting, but the first one is freaking hot! Your typical 26 year old or so So Cal sales and marketing rep. Great pair of bolt-ons straining the buttons on the front of her blouse, and when she bends over to pick up her laptop bag as she's leaving, a little pink whale tail peeks out over the waist of her pants. Penis is unsure of the surroundings but excited none the less.

2:20 p.m. Break. Back in 10 minutes.

3:20 p.m. Prosecution says they've only got a few witnesses left. We're ordered to report back at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow. What's it going to be by Monday, 2:30 p.m.?

Next

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Court is now in session. Or is it...

And now, by popular demand, trial blogging!!! The names haven't been changed to protect anybody, because I don't really know any of them except the kinda cute white trash chick (WTC) that I've been talking with. Janelle, btw. So...here we go.

Tuesday.

7:55 a.m. After driving around in the steady rain looking for parking, I finally find a lot with open spaces. Only $17 for the day! I know, you people in New York and such can pay $22 for a half hour (I saw that over by Bobby Flay's Bolo restaurant in Manhattan a couple of years ago), but parking used to be cheap in downtown SD, at least until all the public parking lots were dug up to build high rise condos.

8:02 a.m. My turn in the metal detector. Briefcase. Both cell phones. Wallet. Keys. All thru the machine. Walk. Beeeeep. Back thru. Jacket (zipper?). Beeeep. Watch. Beeeep. Belt. There we go. I tell the cute deputy with her .40 Beretta that they should put up some porno music for those of us who have to remove articles of clothing. She actually cracks a smile! She wants me!!

8:10 a.m. Check in. Get all necessary forms. Sit down in only open seat in the lounge, which happens to be next to WTC. Pull out Palm Pilot to play Texas Holdem.

8:15 a.m. WTC wants to know what I'm doing. Long conversation ensues. I'm thinking that I never would've thought of jury duty as a place to pick somebody up. Maybe I can set up a jello wrestling match between her and deputy chick. Watch this space for the details!

11:30 a.m. Break for lunch. Crappy Chinese food from the food court. In the real court. I just realized that!

1:00 p.m. WTC is waiting for me at "our" seats. She wants me! 3 and a half hours to go. Please don't call my name, please don't call my name, please don't call my name.

2:10 p.m. Shit. My name is called. Bonus. WTC is called, too. She must have bribed somebody.

2:20 p.m. Go up four flights of stairs to take a skywalk from one building across the street to the 3rd floor of the other court building. Don't ask me, I don't know why. Total distance traveled from the jury lounge to our courtroom, approximately 1.8 miles. Seriously.

2:40 p.m. We're seated (I'm Juror #3, and WTC is Alternate 1, so we're both in the box. Box. Heh heh heh). \w/ Judge reads the charges and goes thru some basic questions for all the jurors.

4:20 p.m. Home. Report back at 9 a.m. on Wednesday.

Wednesday

8:55 a.m. Sunny. Parking almost as close as before, but only $12. Woo hoo! Only 2 blocks to the Karl Strauss Columbia Street Brewery. Strauss' Amber Lager is one of the five beers I would take with me to a desert island (sounds like material for a future post). It is teh shizzle.

9:00 a.m. Different deputy on duty for my strip show. Thinking ahead, cell phones, keys, etc. are placed into briefcase while in line, and belt removed preemptively. No beep.

9:05 a.m. Back in court. Attorneys are questioning the jurors. First the defense has 20 minutes and then the prosecution has 20 minutes.

9:50 a.m. Both attorneys are done and go into a sidebar with the judge. We are herded into the hall and told we'd be brought back in, in approximately 15 minutes.

10:20 a.m. We are brought back in. I sit down and notice the defendent slumped over in his chair. I'm about to tell the bailiff when the judge orders all of us out again.

10:40 a.m. Two SD Sheriff EMTs show up and go into the court, whose door windows have been blocked with paper.

10:50 a.m. Two SD Fire and Rescue paramedics show up with a stretcher. Defendent is wheeled down the hall to the elevator. Judge comes out and tells us to go to lunch and be back at 1:30 p.m. She's expecting to have medical info from the hospital by then. 2 and a half hour lunch! Woo hoo!

11:30 a.m. Meet Troll, who works at City Hall a few blocks away, for Chinese food. He offers to cover lunch if I transfer fundage into his PokerStars account. Can you believe these online poker players?

12:45 p.m. Back at my truck. Take a nap for about 20 minutes.

1:15 p.m. Back outside the courtroom. WTC is waiting for me.

1:45 p.m. Judge comes out and says that the doctors are still running tests. Court is adjourned for the day and we are to report back at 9:15 a.m. on Thursday. Still don't know if I'm actually seated in the jury panel.

Stay tuned for the continuing saga of, "Will Hoff ever get out of jury duty?" followed by "When the Justice System Goes Bad - Jello Wrestling between the Court System and Law Enforcement (parental discretion is advised)".

Next