Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Assorted randomness. Or is it random assortedness?

So I got hooked up with Statcounter, to see how you degenerates are actually finding my blog. As expected, most of the referrals come from:

The most interesting one, though, is a technorati search on “jello wrestling”. Back when I was blogging my jury duty experience (starting March 1), I commented on setting up a match between this white trash chick and this hot deputy that had to search me as I entered the courthouse. Time for some new keywords to generate hits. Farting porn. Squirrel sex. Screwed by a donkey (oh wait, that sort of happened). C’mon Google. Don’t let me down.

Time for something new. Call me Trump, but I’m taking on an apprentice. Troll will be joining team iamhoff to try out this blogging thing. We’ve known each other since 7th or 8th grade, spent much of high school ditching afternoon classes to head to the beach, going to stealth parties that always seemed to get busted by the cops, or going to Mexico to drink. We’ve had a home game off and on for more than 10 years, and he’s started playing online now. He wants to try doing an occasional post here, to see what people think about his writing, and whether or not he should just start his own blog or not. I’m not sure when his first post will be, but when it hits be sure to give some feedback.

Played in the DADI last night. It was my usual sorry state of affairs. Minimal love on the deal, and no love on the flop. An occasional K3o, 92, 24, etc. I’d get something like 88, call a small raise preflop, and have the flop be all overcards. I tried to drop a hammer once, only to have Falstaff reraise me and force my fold. I finally wound up short stacked, UTG with A9o. My M wasn’t horrible, so I called the blinds. It folded to Blinders on the button, who had me covered 4 to 1 in chips and raised it up from 100 to 500. Blinders had been pushing people around all night, and usually had the cards (lots of AA, KK, etc.). I figured that it was a bluff move on a short stack. So I pushed my last 875 in. Blinders called and showed TT. No improvement for me, and IGH in 53rd. Obviously, in hindsight I should’ve folded. My question is, given the table history and Blinders’ aggressive play, did I play it right? I hadn’t been getting much love from the deck, so A9 looked like a fan-tabulous hand. It’s not, I know, but the night had been pretty donkalicious for me, so I grabbed onto those cards like they were my tournament personal flotation device. So it goes. I hung out in the chat lounge and railed several people who were still in, including Surflexus, Jules, Matt, StB, and Kat. Good times, and congrats to Tony Sopran0, who won it all.

Not being done yet, I jumped into my usual 11+1 45 SNG on Stars. I love these things. The turbo format lets you get the whole thing done in just over an hour, 45 players means that even if you are a complete donkfish, you will still get a decent amount of playing time, and the payoff can be pretty good. I started off sketchy, donked off a good chunk of my stack, got dealt 95o 3 times in the first 10 hands, and finally woke up to AKo in the SB (50/100). UTG+1 (who had been caught stealing before) raises to 300, and it folds to me. Taking that to mean a real hand, and having been burned by AK far too many times, I smooth called. Flop comes down QK9. I bet out 200 on TPTK, and villain makes it 600 to go. I push over the top, and villain flips up 33. 7 and T complete the board, doubling me up. I’m not sure why he was so aggressive with 33, especially given that EVERY card on the board was an overcard. There were obviously no straight draws he could participate in, and there was no flush on the board. Who knows, but thanks . He went out on the next hand when his 99 ran into a Q/J boat. I played fairly solidly after that, but never really chipped up. I wound up at the final table, at 600/1200/75 with an M of around 3. As such, I pushed on every decent hand. Unfortunately, I only got one each orbit, so I would only manage to make back enough for another round of blinds. I hung on for a while, until we were 6 handed at Level XIII (1500/3000/150), and I wound up in the BB with K2o. SB called, and I raised up my last 615. SB had me covered substantially and called, flipping over 48o. Sweet! I’ve got a chance. Flop is 65T rainbow. I’m worried about the 7, but feeling pretty good. Turn is a J, but I tighten up my sphincter in anticipation of the RiverStars ass reaming I sense coming. Sure as hell, the river is the dreaded 7, and IGH in 6th against a rivered straight, 4 to the 8.

After walking the doggie, I go to shut down the pokah machine. I still wanted to play, though, despite the fact that it was after midnight. I was in the mood for something different, so I thought if I could find an Omaha SNG spinning up, I’d jump in. Sure as hell, a PLO8 3+.40 was loading up, and I jumped in. Now, I tend to be quite the donkfish at Omaha…I enjoy playing it, but it is difficult. PLO8 is even more difficult, having to keep an eye out on the low hands, too. Trying to remember what I wanted to look for, I figured out that a hand with A2 in it probably wasn’t bad. Now, I wasn’t trying to play for the low hand, but that hand would give me an excuse to see the flop (yes, a very fishy move). Sure as hell, at hand 4 I wake up to 8cAd2hJh. I know, far from a stellar hand, but I had s00ted cards, AJ on the high end, and A2 connectors on the low end. Flop brings 3dKdTs. 5s on the turn and 7d on the river put a couple of possibilities out there (none mine). The high hand could be a flush or straight. All I knew is that I hit the nut low hand and split the pot for a nice 300 chip profit. Hand 7 was even better. With a hand of As7h6c2s, I managed to make both a nut flush and the nut low to scoop the whole pot. I did have some obvious donkey moves, not believing in the flush draw when I was working a straight, etc. In fact, that was what knocked me out. We’re ITM 3 handed. I’m short stacked and look down at 5hKdJhTh. Not a great hand, but I’ve got KJ and s00ted connectors, AND I’m in the BB. Free flop! The flop brings 9sQd3s, giving me a strong straight draw. Yes, Donkeys Always Draw. I am Donkey. Hee Haw. I’m a little concerned about the spades, but I don’t have time or chips to worry about it. Turn brings the Tc, giving me a K-high straight. Naturally, I shove, and villain calls, showing a gutshot straight draw to the Ace and a flush draw. Being RiverStars, the river brings the Ts, completing villain’s flush, sending me to the rail in 3rd. Disappointing, but I was generally pleased with the way I played. My donkified moves weren’t too outrageous, and I held my own. It was fun. I’ll take it. See ya out there.


TripJax said...

Regardless of the result, glad to see you there.

Now when is the jello wrestling scheduled for?

huma said...

screwing donkeys, getting screwed by donkeys, and donkey love taboo.. oh, and let's not forget donkey sex videos - that's why we're here.

I'm kind of surprised my site sends a noticable amount of hits your way - I think they might be from mentions/comments in individual posts rather than from the link on the frontpage. Klopzi's blog is my top referring site but perhaps no longer as he might be taking a break from blogging?! :(

Oh and my number one google key phrase, besides the obvious "boring poker", is:

"huma I love you"


iamhoff said...

I'll see what I can do on the jello issue. Maybe I can track her thru the SD Sheriff website. Hmmm.

I think you're right, huma. It's probably from comment links more than anything. But thanks anyway for the keyword pimpage...that ought to make things interesting. Maybe I can get somebody out there to love me, like they do you!