Freaky Friday
Friday, June 05, 2009
First of all, today's post is brought to you by Super Slots Casino. If you're looking for lots of slots action, check out SuperSlot.
We've had some freaky weather out here in San Diego, lightning, hail, rain, and then the CEO of the company shows up. And we've got more freaky weather on the way. So to celebrate what has turned into an odd week, I give you 9 minutes of odd entertainment. SFW, but freaky. Thanks to Jalopnik for the video.
Posted byiamhoff at 9:25 AM 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: movie, Non-poker content, weather, work
Random Stuff
Thursday, May 28, 2009
First of all, today's post is brought to you by Super Slots Casino. If you're looking for lots of slots action, check out SuperSlot.
Brain MC and his lovely wife Stacie are currently enjoying their time in San Diego. They hooked up with Smokkee and Elf for some chip-slinging at the Oceans 11 Casino over the weekend, and Brian nearly doubled up over a few enjoyable hours. Then the two of them met DAPGF and I for dinner and drinks at a San Diego Old Town institution, Casa Guadalajara. The food was awesome, and it was nice getting to meet some more invisible internet friends. And now the blogosphere has independent confirmation that my web-nonymous girlfriend, DAPGF, really does exist!
So a policewoman pulls over a suspected drunk driver. She asks the driver to step out of the vehicle, and then informs him that anything he says can and will be used against him. The driver looks at the policewoman, and says "breasts."
And on the subject of breasts...
Ewwwwwwww.
Due to stoopy work obligations, I was unable to hit the gym last night. So, the last five songs on Hair Nation while I drove home from work yesterday:
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
Britney Fox - Girl School
Winger - Seventeen
Warrant - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Not sure I'm going to make it onto the felt tonight, but I'm sure gonna try. See ya out there, peeps!
Posted byiamhoff at 10:16 AM 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: breasts, food, funny, GF, joke, music, Non-poker content, San Diego, work
Amazingly, none of the usual suspects officially reside in New York
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wouldn't you come up with that exact same list of suspects? Props to Jalopnik for finding this gem in the interwebs.Posted byiamhoff at 11:58 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: bacon, cars, food, Non-poker content
Catching up on things...
Monday, May 11, 2009
First of all, today's post is brought to you by Super Slots Casino. If you're looking for lots of slots action, check out SuperSlot.
A couple of weeks ago, me and a group of degenerates 
participated in the Beer Belly Olympics. As you might have surmised, beer was involved. Lots of beer. All different kinds of beer, from Coors Light and Corona to Blue Moon to Stone's Oaked Arrogant Bastard to my personal favorite, Blackened Voodoo Lager. 
But it wasn't just beer. We had Bombay. Crown. Goose. Patron. But the drinks weren't the events. Oh, they were events, but the competition events consisted of: basketball free throw contest where it was timed and you had to shag your own ball; bowling; golf; billiards; washers (a demented sort of ring toss thing); horseshoes; darts;
and a finale of a massive Hold 'Em tournament. We rented a heavily fortified mountaintop compound in the mountains northeast of San Diego, and lived it up large. I was last place in basketball (hadn't shot hoops in probably 20 years), 2nd to last in horseshoes, 3rd from last in golf, midpack in darts, billiards, and washers, 2nd place in bowling, and I freaking won the poker tourney! And our heavily fortified compound was only locatable by GPS navigation, straight up the mountains. It had a pool table, bbq, 
3 or 4 balconies, 2 horseshoe pits, a baby grand piano, and a 60 inch plasma with Dish Network. It. Was. Awesome. We are definitely going to make this a regular event.
And after quite a hiatus, I jumped back into a couple of SNGs on Tilt tonight...specifically a $6.5o 18 player and an $8.70 18 player peep sex token SNG. I was running solidly 3-6 in both SNGs for most of the night. In one, I decided to follow the lemurs and complete my SB 96off. Who doesn't love floppin' da nuts?
On another one I decided to slowplay my AQ in the BB, and just checked my option. I think it worked out, don't you?
Ahh, but where would I be without a wicked suckout? We're on the bubble for the token SNG, and I'm in 3rd or 4th place. I get dealt spade Big Slick, and UTG I pop a 4x raise. The button decides to call. Flop comes down K-high with 2 spades. I bet the pot, and the butthole shoves. having TPTK and the nut flush draw, I feel confident and call all-in. I actually laughed out loud when I saw his Q9s, thinking I had his punk ass dominated. Except for one circumstance.
In addition to the spade draw that he had, he also had floped a gutshot straight draw, which filled on the turn. I screamed at the computer for a spade or a queen, but no such luck. But I was still in the other SNG. After running 3 handed for quite some time, I got dealt ATs UTG (and button), and led out 5x, which was about half my stack. BSB in the BB shoved on me, putting me all in. He flips over AJoff, which made me think that I had a slim chance. Unfortunately, we each flopped our kicker, and I went out in 3rd. Still, I was up $7 or so for the evening, so I'll take it.
Last 5 songs at the gym:
Poison - Valley of Lost Souls
Chevelle - I Get It
Ratt - Nobody Rides for Free
Nickelback - Animals
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
See ya out there!
Posted byiamhoff at 8:20 PM 2 comments Links to this post
Labels: Bad Beat, BBO2, beer, Full Tilt, golf, music, Non-poker content, Poker, Tournament
So, are you married?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
That I get asked that question indicates that I'm of an age (or at least the appearance of that age), where I should be married. I am not...yet. Things are going well with DAPGF, and we have talked of moving in that direction. We both agree that we need to stablize careers and pay down some debt, but all talk seems to point in that direction.
Anyway, I mention this because of something that happened in the sauna room at the gym yesterday. I'm sitting in the 180 degree air, broiling myself with 3 other random people, when a rather attractive single mother (dare I say, MILF?) enters and sits down next to me. We start talking and it turns out that she has a 14 year old daughter. I never did get her age, but if she had a 14 year old daughter, my guess is that she had the baby when she was 15 or so. She looked that good. Realistically, she was probably 33 to 36, but she looked in her late 20s, and I told her so. Well of course that earned me brownie flirting points, and she kept chatting. Eventually the question came up of whether I had kids (only if you count my 85 pound Doberman) and whether I was married. She seemed disappointed when I told her I was living in sin with DAPGF. Shortly thereafter, I left the sauna. Not because I felt uncomfortable, but because I was starting to feel cooked.
While driving home from the gym, I was listening to Blue Collar Comedy on Sirius, when a clip from (I believe) John Heffron came on. In it he bemoaned the fact that it's only when he's in a relationship that the women really seem to flock to him. That women seem to be able to smell a relationship on a guy, and it seems to be an aphrodisiac. And he wants to start a company that sells a cologne for men called "Taken" that smells like you've spooned someone in the last 24 hours. Funny, definitely, but it got me thinking. I like to flirt, but I never go beyond just the flirting. Sometimes it's tempting, but I've never done that. I've had the most "interest" whenever I've been in a relationship, and I think I know why. Confidence. When you're single, you're flirting because you are trying to potentially get somewhere with this person (not necessarily in their pants, but more often than not...). When you're in a relationship, you can flirt without worrying about the outcome because you know you've got someone to go home to. Maybe women can smell "relationship" (or spooning) on a man, but I think the confidence factor gives off the vibe that seems to work. If you're really good, you can pull off that vibe even if you're not in a relationship. One of my best friends married a girl he met in college, right after he graduated. It wasn't a good marriage, and they divorced after 2 years. He moved to Huntington Beach and got a bachelor pad close to the beach. Women flocked to him, including an ex-porn star (I met her, thought I recognized her, but never did get her screen name. It was 12 or 13 years ago, tho), and he had all the action he could handle. He rarely got into relationships that lasted more than a couple of months, and often was seeing 2 or 3 at a time. And I believe it was the air of confidence that he gave off. He was in good shape, reasonably good looking, great job, good money, nice car, and he would get right in girls' faces and tell them that they should not date him, because he was an asshole. His words. I think the combination of his confidence, the challenge, and the weird need for women to try and change their men into what they want them to be just worked and sent a massive stream of hotties to his door. And the trend continued when he moved to Minneapolis, then back to San Diego, and finally to Providence, RI, where he ultimately met his wonderful wife. He's been married now for 6 years, has 1 kid with another on the way, and has settled down to a nice family life. But he even told his wife that she shouldn't date him, because he was still an asshole.
So there's my thought for the week. I'm hoping to get back on the felt in the next week or so, so that I can continue to give you a play by play of the bad beats and lemurs that inhabit my world. See ya out there!
Posted byiamhoff at 12:13 PM 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: Advice, GF, Non-poker content
Carpocalypse - Will GM Go Bankrupt?
Friday, April 17, 2009
Howdy, peeps. Long time no post. After running strong in February, March I just fell into the tank. So I basically took the last half of March and the first half of April off. By next week, though, I should be back on the felt, flinging chips like the tarded lemur I am. For now, though, a little non-poker content.
GM's new CEO, Fritz Henderson is implying that bankruptcy is more and more likely for GM. Part of any reorganization or further government bailouts will be a massive restructuring of the company. Right now, GM's North American brands include: Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, GMC, Hummer, Pontiac, Saab, and Saturn. According to Fritz, Buick, Caddy, Chevy, and GMC are their core divisions, with Pontiac as a niche player. The other brands would obviously join such storied automotive names like Oldsmobile, Plymouth, Packard, Studebaker, AMC, et al in the graveyard of history. Since the purpose of this is to make GM leaner and meaner, let's look at the vehicles in the doomed divisions, and see if there's anything worth saving.
Saturn: Of the current lineup, nothing cries out to be saved. That being said, the 2011 Opel Insignia (GM's European division) would replace the current Saturn Aura. That vehicle could serve as an updated Chevy Malibu.
Saab: Signs point to it becoming a stand alone company, so it is outside of the mix.
Pontiac: As with Saturn, most of the vehicles are crap. The only bright spot is the G8, a rear wheel drive sport sedan with a version of the Corvette V8 as an option. That basic vehicle is sold as the Chevy Impala in the Middle East. The current Impala is a soft, blobby front wheel drive sedan. Replace it with the G8.
Hummer: From a PR perspective, Hummer is in the toilet. That being said, the H2 and H3 vehicles could certainly fit with GMC's "professional grade" mantra. Since they're both based on existing GMC platforms (H2 on the Yukon platform and the H3 on the Canyon minitruck platform), it could be a decent bit of synergy.
So that leaves us with Buick, Caddy, Chevy, and GMC. On my car blog, I lay out comprehensive lineups for each remaining division, as well as those for Ford and Chrysler. Check them out.
Posted byiamhoff at 9:45 AM 1 comments Links to this post
Labels: Bad Beat, cars, Non-poker content, US Government
I was ahead when the money got in...
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Yeah, you know you're running crappy when that's the best thing you can say. First 2 SNGs were blanks. I was generally playing ok, but I did make a couple of bad decisions and so it goes. So I jump into a final 6.50 27 player SNG on Tilt. I'm generally running good, top 7 or so for nearly the entire tournament. We get down to the bubble, and I've got about 8BB in 4th, with the top 5 paying. I get dealt K2off in the BB. Naturally, that's a hand I would never consider playing in these circumstances, but 2 other limpers allow me to check my option. Flop comes down K25 with 2 spades (I have none). I want to try and take it down now, so I bet the pot, figuring that nobody else would come along. Unfortunately, UTG does come along. The turn is an ace, so I shove, hoping that anyone playing Ax didn't just hit two pair. UTG calls, and he flips over the Q9 of spades. Please no more spades, please no more spades, please no more spades. Aaaannnndd the river!
Yes! The ever popular river button! And the aptly named death card drops, and Hoff is once again a bubble boy. Back in February, I was running pretty good. Not so much now. Oh well. Das poker.
Last five songs at the gym this morning:
Godsmack - Releasing the Demons
Pantera - Walk
Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes to Midnite
Death Angel - Seemingly Endless Time
Dokken - Tooth and Nail
See ya out there!
Posted byiamhoff at 7:26 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Bad Beat, Full Tilt, music, Poker, Tournament
